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Fic title: I’m Showing You How Epic We Would Be
Author name: deansgirl369
Artist name: Acuarella_117
Genre: rps
Pairing: j2
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 28,000+
Warnings: a little angst
Summary: Jensen and Jared are in love with each other, but neither has let the other in on the secret yet. Then Jensen finds a hidden list that might help him show Jared just how perfect they could be together.
Link to fic:
read here –deansgirl369

Link to art:
this way to beautiful art—acuarella_117


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Jared waited to be called for his mark while watching Jensen. He felt as if he had slipped into the twilight zone. How had Jensen sucked his finger, like some dream come true, and then acted as if it was nothing or it never happened? But that’s where they were. Jensen had spent the rest of the weekend acting like Jared’s regular old best friend. Like the world hadn’t turned suddenly on end. Apparently Jared needed to get himself together and forget it as well. Damn.

Jensen did seem more his normal self, after having been off for some reason the past few weeks. It was almost as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. That was a relief for Jared as well. He had somehow become so in tune with Jensen and his feelings that when Jensen was off, Jared was off as well.

But, he wanted to ask about the kitchen scenario. He wanted Jensen to look him in the eye and explain away something that was so intimate and such a turn on for him. Had it really just been no big deal for Jensen? Dammit. He was so fucking screwed.

Smiling as he headed to his trailer, Jensen patted Jared on the back when he passed him. Jared had looked like a deer in the headlights for hours Sunday after the scene in the kitchen. He couldn’t be certain, but he was pretty confident that Jared had been at least somewhat affected by what he had done. Whatever happened, he felt like at least he had a plan. At least he was on his way to finding out if Jared could fall for him, feel in return some semblance of what Jensen felt.

He would accomplish as many things on the list as possible without completely giving himself away or being too obvious. If after that Jared was still uninterested, he would figure out a way to get his own feelings under control and let it go. Be Jared’s best friend and accept that it was all they would ever have. Well, ‘all’ was a poor way to put something that meant so much in his life. If ‘all’ Jensen ever had of Jared was this soul-deep friendship, he would count himself lucky. He knew he was lucky.

But deep down he felt like he was accomplishing something. Felt like it could truly lead to at least making Jared aware of him as a sexual being. Maybe even finding out if Jared was as incredible in bed as he was in the persistent fantasies Jensen had entertained over the last several years. Somehow he knew Jared would be everything Jensen wanted in a sexual partner. Though he had never slept with a man, Jared had awakened feelings and desires that Jensen had repressed for years. Jensen had been attracted to men all of his life, never really women, but knew that it wasn’t something he could pursue, not as a teenager in Texas and definitely not later as an actor trying to establish himself in a town that pretended to be progressive, but would shut him down before he even got started. No matter what, Hollywood wasn’t really prepared to cast a gay man in any leading parts. He felt certain general public wasn’t quite accepting enough yet either to accept an out gay man in strong male roles.

But Jensen knew that if Jared were to show interest in Jensen in a romantic sense, Jensen would find a way to either keep it quiet and make it work, or he would direct, or hell…give it all up and be an accountant. He would do whatever it took. His feelings for Jared were too deep and too strong to walk away from if he received any real reciprocation. Jensen thought the world of Jared as a person, not to mention the sexual desire that was too persistent to ignore.

Jogging up the few steps and into his trailer, Jensen thought over the list and wondered what he could accomplish next. Some of the list would be impossible unless they were actually having sex. But there were lots of things still on the list that Jensen could achieve. He was going to get something done tonight if possible.

~~~

Jensen was quiet on the drive home. Jared watched him out of the corner of his eye, as he laid his head on the window, resting despite them having had a fairly short day for once. He hoped that when they got home Jensen wouldn’t disappear into his room, directly going to bed or choosing to read or do something that would keep him closeted away. He wanted to spend time with Jensen, not just to be with him, but also to see if he could figure out what was going on with him.

When they pulled up in front of Jared’s house, Jensen thanked Clif, and patted him on the back before throwing open his door and heading inside.

By the time Jared entered the house, Jensen was nowhere to be seen, so he assumed Jensen had gone to his room. Heaving a sigh, Jared went to his own room and changed into a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt before coming back and dropping onto the couch and flipping the television on.

Jensen appeared about twenty minutes later and Jared’s breath caught in his throat as he glimpsed the torture he was going to apparently be subjected to that evening.

Smiling, and slapping Jared on the knee as he sat on the couch next to Jared, Jensen asked, “What are we watching?”

Jensen was wearing a pair of black plastic framed glasses, eyes a bright green behind the clear lenses. When Jared was able to tear his gaze away from the sexy sight, he almost groaned aloud as he glanced down to see that Jensen’s torso was practically swamped inside one of Jared’s soft old t-shirts.

Following Jared’s gaze, Jensen’s mouth twisted a bit as he looked down at himself. “I hope it’s ok that I’m wearing your shirt, man?” He smiled at Jared, who was still staring a little gap-jawed at him. “I don’t know if I lost a box or what, but I can’t find a bunch of my ‘laying around the house’ clothes.”

When Jared hadn’t answered after a few moments, Jensen’s smile fell away. “I…I can take it off. I’m sorry. I didn’t think it would be a big deal…” His voice tapered off.

“No!” Jared’s voice came out too loud and a lot more gruff than he intended. He cleared his throat quietly. “It’s no problem. I just…I hadn’t seen that shirt in a while, wondered where it went…but no, it’s fine…keep it.”

Jared forced his eyes to the television, willing his heart to slow and dropping a hand over his growing erection, hoping Jensen didn’t notice the not so subtle movement.

Unfortunately, Jensen didn’t catch that last move; he was too busy trying to look casual as he sat soaking in Jared’s body heat and hoping that his latest attempt at attention was garnering the type of reaction from Jared he hoped for. It was hard to tell.

He always felt like such a geek in his glasses. Enough so that he was pretty sure Jared had never seen him in them before. The vain side of him had always tried to present his best when in Jared’s presence. It wouldn’t hurt to be as attractive as he could be, right?

Jensen sat, staring at the television and seeing nothing, mind racing. Just because Jared liked glasses didn’t mean that he would like Jensen in his glasses. They weren’t exactly flattering. Shit. Now he didn’t know if he should wear them ever again or just let that one go.

Jared’s eyes flicked almost to his face before returning to the television. “I didn’t know you wore glasses, Jen.” He said, voice casual. “I guess I shoulda, since I knew you wore contacts, but you never seem to take them out, so…”

“Yeah, pretty dorky, huh?” Jensen touched the frames self-consciously and willed himself not to look at Jared as he answered. “I just…well, my eyes were hurting from earlier. I think Jeanie got some makeup in my left eye. Anyway…yeah, I’ve had to wear either glasses or contacts since I was a sophomore in high school.”

“Oh. Makes sense.” He watched television for a few minutes before he added, as casually as possible, “Not dorky. They look nice on you, dude.”

Jensen wants to heave a long-suffering sigh. Apparently this current list attempt is a bust. When Jared stared at him when he first came in the room, his hopes were elevated. He thought he had scored a hit. But now Jared seemed unaffected. Not to mention ‘nice’? Nice? Ugh. That was not the reaction he had been hoping for.

~~~

Jared stared unseeingly at the tv. He wanted to turn and stare at Jensen. Jensen with his sexy hot gorgeous glasses on. Jensen wearing Jared’s shirt, too big and like a piece of Jared all wrapped around him. Fucking Jensen, who was apparently attempting to kill him.

When he thought it couldn’t get worse, Jensen stood up, yawned and stretched- the shirt of doom, as Jared was thinking of it now- riding up to expose a thin line of light brown hair trailing down Jensen’s belly to disappear into his sweats as well as cut hip bones just begging to be bitten and licked.

What?

Jared took a deep breath and forced his gaze back to whatever shit was on the television. He could not start thinking like that sitting here trying to be normal. Biting and licking thoughts were for inside his bedroom with the door firmly closed and locked.

“You want a beer?” Jensen asked when he finished his stretch and looked down at Jared as he headed for the kitchen. “I’m kinda hungry. Wanna order a pizza or something?”

~~~

Jared watched Jensen walk out of the room, eyes focused on his ass now that the strip of toned belly was hidden. He was hard and hoped he wasn’t drooling. Damn. Jensen had always been hot, and Jared had always wanted him, but this was getting out of control. Hell, he had admitted to himself a long time ago that he not only physically wanted Jensen, but he was as in love with him as he could be without focusing on it. He needed to get back to that way of thinking. Getting this worked up couldn’t be good.

Jared pushed down on his erection, and grabbed a pillow to lay across his lap, since he didn’t see him getting his lust under control by the time Jensen returned with their beers, and answered Jensen’s question by yelling toward the kitchen.

~~~

Jensen smiled to himself as he opened the refrigerator. He had seen Jared staring at his stomach when he stood up. He had looked…impressed? Interested? Horny? Ok, maybe he was reading a bit more into what he saw than was real, but he had definitely seen a spark of something there. He felt a shiver of hope skitter down his spine. Jared wasn’t completely immune to him. He just had to be aware of the reactions and careful not to miss them. Jared wasn’t an idiot, nor was he a mooning fourteen year old. He was able to control himself. So, Jensen vowed to watch closely for any clues from this point on.

When Jared called out “pepperoni and sausage” Jensen grunted and pulled out his cell from his pocket. He wasn’t going to give up.





13. Someone hot wearing ‘nerdy’ glasses check
8. Seeing someone wearing my clothes—too big for them check
19. The strip of skin from belly button to cock, especially the cut in from hipbone. Happy trail check


chapter 3





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