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Fic title: I’m Showing You How Epic We Would Be
Author name: deansgirl369
Artist name: Acuarella_117
Genre: rps
Pairing: j2
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 28,000+
Warnings: a little angst
Summary: Jensen and Jared are in love with each other, but neither has let the other in on the secret yet. Then Jensen finds a hidden list that might help him show Jared just how perfect they could be together.
Link to fic:
read here –deansgirl369

Link to art:
this way to beautiful art—acuarella_117

Jared woke as the sun started peeking through the curtains with an arm full of Jensen. Warm, solid, and smelling so good he wanted to lick every square inch. Soon. He felt his heart constrict with the thought that Jensen was truly here in his bed, in his arms, and soon he would be making love to him. He was going to finally have Jensen, in every way possible, and he had no intention of letting him go. Ever. Jensen might not know it yet, and Jared wasn’t going to scare him with it this soon, but Jared was keeping him.

Watching the other man sleep for a few long minutes, taking in the soft perfection of his features, the beautifully sculpted lips made even more full by the puffiness of sleep and the kissing from the night before, and the scattered freckles. His Smeckles. Jared had been fascinated from the beginning with Jensen’s freckles, hated that make-up covered them almost every day for shooting, and had come up with the silly nickname that only he knew the longing behind years before. He didn’t say it often, but the name came to mind often when he gazed on a clean faced Jensen.

Jared finally slipped carefully out of the bed to take his morning run and let the dogs stretch before the long day ahead. They had been good babies, considering they had been locked out of the bedroom all night, something they weren’t used to. They were accustomed to being in their beds in the corner of Jared’s bedroom whenever he was sleeping. But they had been surprisingly quiet, and he decided they deserved treats, especially since if things went according to plan, they would be locked out for hours this weekend while he and Jensen worked their way through a few items on his list and Jensen’s once it was written. He was hard within moments just thinking about it.

Glancing back at the bed and acknowledging how good Jensen looked laying in it, Jared smiled and grabbed his running shoes and pants and went to start his morning.


Their scenes were on point, Jared thought. They were synchronized in a way they had rarely been, despite having intense and incredible chemistry from the pilot. Now, it was almost effortless. They moved together like a well-oiled machine and it made their days easier, though still exhausting physically. He didn’t ask if Jensen had written his list, he assumed he would and they would talk about it when the weekend came. He felt electrical zings fly through him at the slightest contact and a low heat simmered in his belly every time he was with Jensen, but they didn’t talk about any of it. Just worked hard, long hours and came home and fell into bed at the end of each night after a soft kiss. It was charged and exciting to know what waited at the end of the week, but they let it lay there, aware of it, but not acknowledging it for the time being.

Jensen felt like coming out of his skin all week. He was content in a way he had never been, felt happy and somehow safe knowing that Jared was his, at least in some ways, and yet he was on edge as he worked through his list, feeling tense and a bit out of control with fear as each item was written and then the list quickly secreted away where no one would find it. He knew he could trust Jared with these things, would trust Jared with anything, but pulling them out of himself, some from out of the deepest reaches of his own soul, was frightening and yet freeing all at once. He couldn’t wait for the weekend even as he grew more and more jittery the closer it came.


Jared stared at the piece of paper with a little bit of awe, a lot of interest and full of lust. He was hard as a rock by the time he had read the first four items and he could feel his heartbeat thrumming in his cock as he finished reading. So many things to do, to share, to give to Jensen. Some of them were similar to his own. It seemed Jensen also liked kissing, the sight of a man’s strong hands, a muscular back or arms, the cut of hips peeking above a pair of jeans, liked fingers stroking his hair, was curious about so many of the same things Jared was. He couldn’t wait to do any of them, all of them. His skin felt tingly with his nerves and excitement.

His eyes flickered up to Jensen’s tight face again. He looked ready to bolt, knuckles white where they clutched the arms of his chair.

Jared leaned back a bit in his own chair and let his legs fall open in his usual sprawl as he stared at Jensen. He purposely opened himself up, wanted Jensen to look, see what just reading these things he had written were doing to Jared, how it affected him. It took a few long moments before Jensen’s eyes flitted away, and locked on Jared’s hard cock.

The huge bulge in Jared’s jeans, pressing almost painfully against the zipper was an obvious reaction to what he was reading, and it reassured Jensen somewhat. He remembered reading Jared’s list for the first time and how it had sent want surging through him. He felt a tingle of pride to know that just thoughts of him could do this to Jared. He raised his gaze to meet Jared’s again with more purpose and confidence.

“Fuck, Jen. You know how hot this is?” Jared breathed, leaning toward Jensen, resting his elbows on his knees and staring intently.

Jensen huffed a half laugh, “Yeah, I kinda do, J.” He smiled at Jared as he too leaned in, putting their faces mere inches apart. Jensen was already feeling breathless and a little lightheaded, course maybe that was from the blood that was quickly rushing to fill his cock at the sight of Jared’s so close and ready.

Jared smiled, a wicked grin that Jensen wasn’t sure he had seen before. It caused a flare of need to join his already growing desire to see it aimed at him. He had thought he had seen and catalogued every Jared Padalecki smile, no matter how vast the number. But this was new, and he was happy to see it and add it to the ranks. It was right up there with the favorites already.

“Thank you for doing this, by the way. Knowing you, I can feel you agonizing over every word, so I want you to know it means a lot that you did it for me,” Jared told Jensen solemnly.

Jensen smiled, crooked and so endearing Jared could barely keep already twitching hands to himself. “No problem, J. It was hard, but I owed it to you, and I’m glad you let me make amends, or somewhat anyway.”

“So…I really wanna do all these things to you,” Jared announced quietly. “But I don’t want either of us to feel like we are pressured or following a script or anything. I want it all, and I don’t doubt we will get to it, eventually. For now, though, I don’t want to think you are mentally checking things off or doing anything just because it’s on some list or whatever, you know?”

Jensen blushed, surprised there was any blood available considering how hard he was. “Yeah. I really am sor…”

Jared pushed a finger against his lips, cutting him off. “No more apologies. I was angry, but in a way I’m glad you found it and did all that, because it got us here. And I’m not gonna deny that I enjoyed all those things either. But I also knew when we were in bed that first time, I knew the minute that list entered your mind, because you went from fucking incendiary hot to a little stilted and fake. I want you, Jensen, the real you. I want to know that you are getting what you want and giving what feels right, not giving me what you think I want. Fuck. That didn’t even make sense.”

Jensen reached up and grabbed the finger that had begun brushing against his lips in an almost hypnotic manner. “I get you, J. I want you to be in the moment, too. I just want you to do whatever you want, and if it makes you feel good, I will love it. We will be great together, I know it.”

Linking their fingers together, Jared pulled Jensen from his chair and smiled. Jensen could swear that the sun shone from that smile. “Let’s go upstairs, yeah?”

Jensen returned his smile, nodding. “Yeah.”


Jared stopped when they reached the side of the bed, and pulled Jensen’s body flush with his own. It felt so different and yet so right to hold someone close to his own height. He leaned in, grasping the back of Jensen’s head and bringing their mouths together. The kiss was urgent and needy. They had waited, in various forms, for so long, and their deep yearning kiss conveyed their need.

Jensen nipped at Jared’s lips, catching his bottom lip and sucking it into his mouth, then releasing it to run his tongue inside and along the two rows of straight white teeth, demanding entrance and being granted it immediately. Jared pulled Jensen’s hair, using it as leverage to tilt his head and get deeper access to that beautiful, delicious mouth.

Pulling back after long minutes, Jensen looked at Jared with so much heat his breath caught. “Take off your clothes, J. Want to see all of you and see how much you want me.”

Jared expelled his held breath with a pant. “Yeah. You too, Jensen. Show me, let me see that gorgeous body.”

They both undressed with as much haste as their fumbling fingers would allow, never taking eyes off each other. Jensen threw off his boxer briefs and dropped onto the bed, watching as Jared finished getting naked as well. He was in awe that he was going to be touching all that perfect skin over taut muscle. How had he held out this long?

“So beautiful, Jense.” Jared lowered himself to the bed next to Jensen, taking in every detail. His heart was pounding in his chest and he was surprised to realize how nervous he was, and yet how not strange it was to be naked with a man. Not this one anyway. He wanted this with every fiber of his being.

Jensen’s long lashes momentarily shaded his eyes from Jared’s gaze, embarrassed at the effusive praise. “Are you kidding? You’re the beautiful one. Look at you. Perfect.”

Dimples came out in full force, and Jensen realized perfect was an inadequate word. Jared amazed him. He was almost surprised to see his own hand, seemingly of its own volition, reach to hover just over Jared’s shoulder. He glanced up to see Jared’s reaction, to be certain of his welcome in touching, and Jared placed his own hand over Jensen’s and pressed down. Jensen started at the first feel of skin against skin, but slid his hand down, brushing Jared’s bicep and then his side, down over his ribs and back up to his pectoral. He skimmed the back of his fingers over Jared’s nipple and smiled at the soft keen it drew from Jared.

The sound seemed to pull Jared from his reverie and he reached his own hand out to touch. He cupped the side of Jensen’s face before sliding along his arm and side, across the soft skin of his abdomen to brush over his belly button and stroke the soft hair just below. His eyes drifted down to take in the sight of his engorged cock, which seemed to reach toward Jared in its eagerness for his touch. Jared ventured a quick glance to meet Jensen’s liquid gaze before he reached down and stroked a finger from the head of Jensen’s cock down the shaft and back up the underside. The hard flesh jerked at the touch and a tiny bead of precum formed at the tip. Jared was fascinated and ran his finger lightly over the slit, gathering the moisture and bringing it to his lips, tongue darting out to grab the droplet.

Jensen moaned and dropped his own hand to encircle Jared’s cock. He wasn’t sure how long he was going to last if one touch and watching Jared taste his cum had him feeling like he could blow at any moment, and he wanted to be sure Jared was with him for the ride, no matter how short. He gripped Jared firmly, pulling from the base up and squeezing slightly as he reached the underside of the head. Jared’s hips stuttered forward slightly and he grunted quietly. “Fuck, Jen.”

“Yeah. So incredible, J. You are going to kill me, man.” Jensen pressed his body closer, bringing them flush. The feel of Jensen pressed all along him, cock brushing his own had Jared wondering if he really would last long enough to make Jensen feel good.

“Gotta slow down. Seriously. I feel like a fifteen year old virgin. Don’t wanna come before we even get started. So…” He reached down and pulled Jensen’s hand from between them, interlacing their fingers and leaned in to kiss him softly. They lay there, getting themselves a bit more under control by brushing their lips together slowly and sharing breath for a few minutes.

Once he felt like he could move without fear of losing it, Jared leaned back enough to see Jensen’s face clearly. “Wanna suck you, Jen. Need to feel your cock in my mouth.”

Jensen squeezed his eyes shut for a long moment at that. He had just gotten himself calmed a bit, then Jared says something that makes his heart skip a few beats and set off running hard again. But, he nodded, anxious and eager. “Please. Please.”

Kissing Jensen one more time, Jared maneuvered him onto his back. He pushed up onto his hands, hovering over him and smiling before laying kisses along his shoulders and down his chest and ribs. He lowered himself to the bed between Jensen’s spread legs and licked a line along his hip bones before biting at his happy trail. Jared looked at Jensen’s cock. He had never done this, but had thought about it a lot, especially in the last few years, with Jensen. He hovered for a few moments before he heard Jensen’s voice, sounding hoarse and strained. “You don’t have to, J. I mean…”

Jared was struck by the hesitancy in Jensen’s voice. “Oh hell no, Jense. I so want this. I was just thinking. Savoring maybe. Realizing how many times I have thought about doing this with you.” He drug his eyes from Jensen’s and back to his straining cock.

Jensen moaned as he felt and saw Jared’s tongue come out to drag from the base of his cock to the tip.

“Damn, Jense, your cock is as beautiful as the rest of you.”

His head thunked back onto his pillow when he saw Jared open his mouth and take the head of his cock inside. The warm, wet heat engulfed his cock and his hips jerked up just a bit. Jared just pulled back momentarily before grasping the heated flesh with his hand and guiding more into his mouth. Jensen clenched his teeth at the unbelievable sensation and knowledge of his dick in Jared’s mouth, inside Jared.

After a few minutes of exploring and testing what he liked doing and what seemed to drag the best, hottest noises out of Jensen, Jared pulled back and released Jensen’s cock with a wet sound. It slapped against his belly and he watched, wanting only to just take it right back into his mouth and finish what he started, but knowing he wanted more. Wanted to either be inside Jensen or for Jensen to be inside him when they both came.

Jensen raised his head and their eyes met over the expanse of Jensen’s muscled torso. He was sure that all he was feeling shone in his eyes but he didn’t have the strength or will to disguise it. If Jared knew, then he knew.

“So…” Jared sounded unsure, and Jensen loved him all the more for it. “Do you…I am…I…fuck.” He paused and drew a calming breath. “I’ve thought about this so many times, and I’m really open for whatever, Jen. I want it all, like I said. I wasn’t kidding. I want to fuck you and feel what it means to be inside you, and I want to know what it feels like to have you hard and huge inside me. But, for this first time…what do you want?”

Jensen unclenched one fist from the sheets where they were bunched hard, helping keep him under control, and slid his fingers into Jared’s damp hair, pushing it out of his face and looking into his eyes. “Me too. I want everything. It’s like I want it all right now.” He paused, stroking the side of Jared’s face, touching his moist lips. “But for this first time, I think I want you inside me. If that’s ok with you?” His face was flushed, both from the excitement and embarrassment he felt expressing something so intimate.

“That’s great. Perfect. I can’t wait to be inside you, Jen. Want to see your face when it finally happens.” Jared kissed the fingers tracing his face. “You got lube? Condoms? I’ve been tested since…well, there hasn’t been anyone since I was tested. And I trust you, if you want to…not use one, I mean?”

Jensen’s throat tightened for a long second as he realized that Jared trusted him with something so monumental. “Yes. I mean, no, I don’t want to use one. I got tested just six months ago or so. I haven’t been with anyone since. And I haven’t ever not used a condom anyway. If you are sure…”

Jared kissed Jensen’s belly, just next to his hip. “So sure. I don’t want there to be anything between us, want to feel you.”

Jensen smiled and reached into the bedside table drawer, pulling out a bottle of lube and handed it to Jared.

“Ok,” Jared began, taking the lube and opening it, pouring some over his fingers. “Of course I have seen porn, and I’m not stupid, so I know how this works, but I haven’t actually done it, so you gotta tell me if I hurt you or anything.”

At Jensen’s nod, Jared shook his head, “I’m serious, Jen. Promise me. I don’t want our lack of experience to hurt you.”

Jensen sat up in one motion and drew Jared’s head up, kissing him hard. “I promise, Jared. But I know you won’t hurt me. You are so fucking gentle, you couldn’t. I’m so ready. Let’s do this. You and me. Everyone says we’re epic, right? We’re gonna be incredible.” He darted his tongue out to lick along Jared’s lips again before releasing his face and laying back, tucking another pillow under his head so he could see better.

Jared dropped the bottle of lube and sat up between Jensen’s legs, nudging his thigh with his dry hand. “Pull your legs back.”

Seeing Jared looking at him, it was hard for a moment for Jensen to so thoroughly expose himself. But it was Jared, and he did it, brought his knees up and rested his feet on the bed, legs spread, tilting his hips up and adjusting slightly. Jared grabbed another pillow and shoved it under Jensen’s ass, never looking away. “Don’t be embarrassed, Jen. Every inch of you is stunning.”

Jared reached down and pulled Jensen’s cheeks apart with his hand, bringing his lube covered fingers close before quickly leaning in and licking once at the pink pucker he had exposed. Jensen gasped and jerked. “Fuck.”

Smiling at the exclamation and looking up to see Jensen’s surprised and lust ridden face, Jared reached down and circled one lube coated finger around the now wet hole. “Can’t wait to feel you clenching around me. Gonna make you feel so good.”

Pushing one finger in just a little, Jared reveled in the sight before him. He marveled at how beautiful he did find all of Jensen’s body. Like he said he had watched plenty of gay porn and Jensen was more gorgeous than anyone he had ever seen. He was impatient to feel everything now that he was so close. When he felt Jensen relax around his finger, he pressed in the rest of the way.

Jensen willed his body to stay relaxed as he felt the invasion of Jared’s finger. It didn’t feel bad. It was strange at first, but he quickly realized he wanted more. Wanted to get to the part where Jared was inside him, lining their bodies up and fucking into him. “More, J. Give me another one.”

Jared felt a spurt of precum bubble up and roll down his rock hard cock when Jensen asked for another finger and he quickly obliged. He worked one in slowly but insistently and once it was inside, he began to slowly fuck them in and out, watching Jensen’s face for any sign of discomfort.

By the time he had worked in a third digit and was able to move them smoothly, Jensen was undulating his hips with the movement and his breath was heavy. Jared had never been so ready, never wanted anything so much as he did in that moment. He pulled his fingers out and lined his hips up with Jensen’s, leaned down and kissed him. “Ok, Jen? You ready?”

“Fuck yes, J. Do it, baby, please. Need to feel that huge cock inside me. Now.”

Feeling a dart of warmth low in his belly at the sweet nickname, Jared smiled, then pushed his cock into the softened muscle, feeling it give as he gained entry. Once the ridge of his cock head pushed past the rim, Jared paused, teeth clenched and neck strained. He looked down at Jensen and waited. He could see discomfort in the tightness of Jensen’s jaw and he willed himself to stay still, despite the incredible feeling of tight heat clutching at his cock, drawing him in. But this was Jensen and he wanted to make this perfect, wanted to make Jensen happy, so he held firm, would wait for as long as it took.

Jensen opened his eyes and looked up at Jared. He could see how hard he was straining to stay still. The slight pain he had felt from the initial entry was receding quickly and Jensen shifted a bit, then wrapped his legs around Jared’s ass and drew him in slowly. The drag of Jared’s cock inside him was like nothing he had ever experienced and nothing had prepared him for how intimate it would feel, how close he felt to Jared in that moment.

Once Jared was fully seated inside Jensen, they both lay there, Jared waiting for Jensen’s ok to move, and Jensen waiting for the discomfort to relent and the pleasure to take over. It quickly did, enough that he looked into Jared’s eyes and nodded. “Do it, Jared. Fuck me.”

Jared moaned as if in pain at the permission and need in those words, and slowly drew back before pushing forward again, filling Jensen over and over. “God, Jense. You feel so good. So fucking tight and hot all around me.”

Finally. Jensen wasn’t sure even he had realized how much he wanted this until now. How much he had been missing by faking his way through sex with a woman. This felt so right. Jared felt so incredible inside him, he felt so full and complete. Then Jared shifted slightly on the next press in and hit what Jensen knew was his prostate, but had had no idea how incredible it was going to feel. His whole body jerked hard and he arched up into Jared. “Right there. Again. Do that again, J.”

Jared knew he had hit Jensen’s prostate when he felt the reaction, and tried to get enough control over his own body to aim to hit that same spot again as he drove into Jensen’s body. The heady sensation of bringing that intense jolt of pleasure to Jensen helped him gain and maintain the control he needed.

They writhed together, clutching hard at each other as they strove toward orgasm.

“Come for me, Jen.” Jared reached between them, and had barely wrapped a hand around Jensen when he hit that spot inside him again and Jensen let out a loud cry and came, spurting over Jared’s hand and slicking the places their bodies met.

The even tighter clench around his cock sent Jared spiraling after Jensen just seconds later and he came with Jensen’s name on his lips.

7. Being called baby by a guy check
4. Dirty talk check

1.Anal sex
5. Rimming
11. A guy with big hands, nice hands
9. Nipples being touched, licked, sucked
5. Being manhandled
13. Nice Arms, chest back
2. Kissing
4. Dirty talk

tiny little epilogue/chapter 8

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November 2016


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