Just Don't Give Up on Me 19/20

[rain_n_snow]

Jensen ran a finger over Jared’s soft sac, over his perineum and lightly circled his puckered entrance, no pressure, just a light brushing touch. Jared’s body jerked like he had been electrocuted, then he pressed down, trying to get more…more. It had been so long. Felt like years. Waking up to find Jensen watching him as he had been doing constantly for the past few days, Jared had finally given into his instinct and need and rubbed against Jensen suggestively. He was ready to feel loved and wanted by this man again, and anger had no place in their bed.

Sighing silently, Jensen pressed one finger steadily inside and tensed at the easy entrance. Gaze flickering to Jared’s, he pulled back, “There’s been…someone else has…who else has fucked you since me? Who have you let inside you, Jared?” The words came out strangled and pained and harsh.

Jensen knew he had no real right. He had walked away, no promises between them, just walked away and cut Jared out. He had told Jared it was over and disappeared for over a month. But the heat of the choking pain that shot through him thinking of who else might have had this, this part of Jared that was his and his alone, well it was scary it twisted inside him so ugly, ached so badly.

Jared lay stunned for a moment, body and mind unsure how things had gone from the perfection of Jensen touching him again, loving him again, to the accusation and loss of touch, of connection. His mouth opened to deny, to reassure Jensen that of course there had been no one else, but that died a quick death. The anger and pain that had built up inside him since Jensen walked out and left without so much as a backward glance were still too close to the surface within him. “That is none of your business, Jensen. You gave up the right to demand faithfulness and loyalty when you walked out. What and who I have done since that day are none of your business.”

When Jared started to pull away, move off the bed, Jensen drew a deep breath and held tight. His heart hurt more than he thought possible, it was like the past weeks of deep aching pain had been multiplied and shoved down his throat all at once. He could swear he heard a crack within his chest. But Jared was right. He had walked away, and if that meant he had to live with the knowledge that Jared had found consolation in another’s arms, he would take it as his punishment. He just had to show Jared, remind him, that what they had was better, that what he could give him was more, deeper. “Please, no. Don’t push me away. You’re right, I’m sorry. I have no right to ask. But I do have to know if there is still someone? Now? If you are still seeing someone else, then I can’t do this.”

Jared was actually offended. “Does that seem like me? What the fuck, Jensen? Has someone beaten you about the head? No, there is no one else right now, or I wouldn’t be here. I’m not a cheater by nature, you know that. So far you aren’t doing a very good job at making me want to forgive you, you know.”

“No. I know you wouldn’t do that, I just wasn’t thinking clearly, I guess. This is just tough.” Jensen pulled Jared close, pushing him back down onto his back and leaning in, face close. “I will make you forget, though, Jare. No matter what else has happened, I will remind you what it means to be mine. How good I can make you feel. You will forget whoever else it was, I promise. I don’t care who else you have been with, just don’t leave me. Let it be me from now on, please. ”

Green eyes glittered down into his and Jared shuddered. Yes, he knew Jensen could make him forget just about anything. Jensen had the ability to make him forget his own name, he was pretty certain. The mouth that claimed his then was demanding and yet gentle, devouring and worshipful all at once. Jensen mapped Jared’s mouth with determination and skill.

Days of being so close, of sleeping in the same bed again without making love had heightened them both to a razor’s edge of need. Sucking the tongue that came to greet his own questing one, Jensen groaned as he took in the flavor and feel of that mouth. He began to explore the body he knew so well now, to remind Jared that he knew all the hotspots to hit. Constantly murmuring his love and adoration for this man who meant the world to him, he explored every inch of the tanned flesh laid out for him.

He flicked his tongue across nipples, along ribs and settled to mouth, kiss, lick and suck at the skin below Jared’s navel, to rediscover the muscles and the reactions he could pull out of Jared when he did. He mouthed his way to prominent hipbones and bit down, drawing a long keening moan from the man beneath him. “Yeah, let me hear it. I wanna know that you love what I’m doing to you, J.” Jensen was determined to make this so good, to erase Jared’s memory of anyone but him.

“Mmmm, yes.” Jared hissed out, body writhing under Jensen’s ministrations. “More, Jen. Please.”

“You don’t even need to ask, baby. I’m gonna give you everything.” He nipped again at the muscle and bone of Jared’s hip before licking across to the other side and giving it the same treatment. Jared’s hips bucked slightly.

Jensen moved so that his mouth was hovering over Jared’s long hard erection. He breathed hot over the length, watching it twitch and leak a bit more before leaning in to tongue at the slit and lap up the precum gathered there. He threw an arm across Jared’s hips to hold him down and then ran his tongue around the head, tasting and recalling the feel of that warm soft skin, then paused to lick at the sensitive bundle of nerves before taking the length in deep. He sucked long and hard and then moved to take Jared’s balls into his mouth, sucking and licking and recalling their shape and weight. Wanted to hear the noises, those sweet, beloved noises that Jared made just for him.

The warmth and wetness that closed around him then had Jared throwing his head back and arching his back, “Fuck yes. Jensen, your mouth, missed having your mouth on me.” He thrust slightly, as much as possible with the arm that was restraining him. “Want you to fuck me. Please. Need it.”

“Yeah?” Jensen looked up at Jared then, mouth wet and swollen. “Want me to fill you up? Fuck you slow and sweet or hard and fast?”

“Ungh…doesn’t matter, just need you. Need to feel you. Missed your cock inside me.” Jared was reaching down, pulling at Jensen’s arms. Jensen laid one long last lick up the length of Jared’s weeping dick and pulled his arms out of Jared’s grip. He pushed Jared’s thighs up, tilting his ass forward and shifting him until he was open and exposed. After one last look through thick long lashes, Jensen leaned in and pressed an open mouthed kiss to Jared’s puckered entrance.

“Fuck!” Jared jerked hard, his cock spasming and he had to wrap a fist around his base to stave off an untimely orgasm. He was so close but was a long way from ready for this to be over. This was something they hadn’t previously explored and Jared had been curious but wasn’t prepared for how good it felt, how intense.

Jensen pulled Jared’s hand away from his cock, “Don’t, J. Want you to feel everything. If you come, I will just work you over til you are hard and ready again. If you can come from this, do it. But you’re gonna come again when I am inside you. You will come just from me fucking you. No matter how long it takes.” With those words, Jared hissed in a deep breath and dropped his head back against the bed. If he watched this it was going to be over in two seconds. As it was he was going to come in record time.

Jensen dove right back in and kissed him, then laid a long flat stripe from his tailbone to his balls, wetting the area completely. He placed small, harder licks directly to Jared’s opening, pressing in further each time, moving with Jared’s shuddering hips. Finally he sealed his lips around the tight ring and pressed in firmly, tongue fucking Jared a little deeper with each thrust. “Taste so fucking good, J. Feel and look so perfect.”

When Jensen went back in this time, he pressed into the loosening opening a few times before sucking at the hole, and Jared screamed his name and came, body convulsing with the orgasm ripping through him.

Jensen watched as Jared’s body spasmed, reveling in the beauty of his release before kneeling between the spread knees, looking down at the loosened opening, slicking his fingers and immediately pressing one inside, feeling the tremors clenching against him. Jared jerked at the intrusion before pushing down and letting Jensen in. Jensen worked quickly, getting two fingers inside and stretching the relaxed muscle to ready Jared, then lined his cock up with Jared’s trembling entrance. He squeezed his cock hard, rubbing the head against the sensitized area over and over, watching Jared’s mouth fall open somewhat and his eyes that had started to clear glaze over again.

Pushing back, Jared whined deep in his throat, “Come on, Jen. Fucking do it. Need to feel you inside me. Need you.”

Unable to wait any longer, Jensen pushed in, teeth clenched hard as Jared’s muscles closed around him, drawing him in. “J. Feel so damn good, baby. Gotta slow down a minute, want thisto last.” He looked down through dazed eyes to see that Jared was already almost completely hard again. He bottomed out and thrust once against Jared’s prostate before stilling and watching as Jared filled completely, cock beautiful and rigid against his wet belly.

Jared looked up at Jensen and lost his breath for a moment. Jensen was looking at him like he was everything. Smiling vaguely as he fought to hold himself still, to wait for Jared to catch up so he could make good on his promise. “Kiss me?” Jared asked softly. “Kiss me like you love me, Jen.”

Without hesitation Jensen leaned forward, changing the angle of their joining slightly and rubbing hard against that bundle of nerves inside Jared as he did. “God J. Do love you. Love you like you can’t begin to imagine.” And then they kissed frantically, Jared starting to writhe on Jensen’s cock. Needing more. Jensen withdrew, hips moving just enough to pull almost all the way out before plunging hard back in. They licked into each others mouths, seeking the taste and feeling they both needed, tongues tangling. Jensen gasped hard and Jared sucked it in as Jensen cried out. “No. Gonna. You gonna come with me, J?”

Jensen straightened up and grabbed Jared’s hips hard, driving in with short fast jabs that found that spot every time. He watched Jared arch and push back, moving with Jensen and against him, seeking everything he could get. Jared ran his hands over Jensen’s chest, stroking and rubbing. When his fingers brushed over nipples and Jensen sucked in a breath, he paused and played. He tugged and pinched, twisted and soothed. It just made Jensen even crazier and more out of control. Jared watched his expressive face as he got closer and closer to the edge, knowing he would never see anything more beautiful.

After a few long minutes, Jensen started to whimper, his body losing the steady rhythm as he lost control and came closer and closer to coming. When Jared’s walls clenched hard and he keened as his second orgasm stole over him, Jensen let go and thrust hard, coming deep inside his lover, his body convulsing during and then shivering after his overwhelming orgasm.

He dropped down on top of Jared, unable to hold himself up any longer. The evidence of Jared’s two orgasms sliding between their stomachs.

“I love you Jared.” Jensen’s voice was raw, husky and quiet, but there was no doubting the sincerity behind it. He pressed in close, sucking hard at the curve of Jared’s shoulder and neck, biting and sucking a mark there; his mark, claiming his mate, his love, his.

Jared shuddered and wrapped his arms around Jensen, kissing the top of his head, “I love you, Jensen. So much.” He paused and Jensen could hear that there were words there hanging unsaid. He held his breath hoping there wasn’t a ‘but’ coming next.

He looked up, his eyes seeking out the multicolored ones he loved so much. “What, J? Please don’t say ‘but it isn’t enough’ or that you are leaving me. Anything else I can take. I probably deserve it, but not that, please.” He sounded pathetic, but like he had said, he knew he deserved no less.

Jared smiled, tracing Jensen’s worried features and feeling his heart thud in his chest. Jensen was back where he belonged, in Jared’s arms, and he had no intention of letting him go again. “No ‘buts’ Jen. I was just thinking…I wanted you to know, there hasn’t been anyone. No one but you since that first day in the trailer. Not once.”

Looking confused, Jensen started to speak and Jared looked embarrassed, but didn’t break eye contact. “It was just me…I mean I used a…well, a toy a few times. Fuck, I even thought of you then. God, how embarrassing.”

Jensen dove in and kissed Jared, hard. Tongue sweeping in and claiming, speaking volumes about his love and appreciation. “Not embarrassing, J. It’s totally fucking hot is what it is, and so…perfect? Thank you, baby. Just…thank you. Wait, what about when Genevieve was in town those few days? I mean, not that I expect…”

Jared cut him off, “No, not even then. I just couldn’t, even after I heard you come in that night with some guy.” Jared wanted to ask, but was afraid of the answer.

Realizing what Jared was hinting at, Jensen smiled, face full of his love for this man. “That really was exactly what I said it was: he didn’t even set foot in my room. He really was just fighting with his wife and drunk…and I…well, it sounds so lame, but I haven’t wanted anyone since you and I first started this. I couldn’t even with Danni during that hiatus. I actually tried, but…no. No one but you, Jared.”

Jensen smiled, unable to believe that this man—this beautiful, perfect creature was his, and he intended to keep it that way. Somehow it had been a blessing that no one else had hung around long enough to become a real part of his life, if it meant he would have missed out on this. He pulled Jared in tighter, never close enough, laying one hand on his heart, the heart he meant to keep.

Wrapping Jensen up tightly, nuzzling at his neck, Jared sighed contentedly. He had never felt so right in his own skin, and that surprised him. He had never considered himself to be discontented, but once Jensen came into his life, everything had fallen into place perfectly. He still intended to show Jensen all he was truly worth, remind him every day that he deserved happiness and love and that no matter what he was going to be getting it.

They were going to be alright. They were going to be all they were fated to be.


epilogue

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master post/all chaps here