Sharing

[rain_n_snow]

Title: Sharing
Rating: pg
Author: deansgirl369
Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Characters: Jensen, Jared, mentions of Christian Kane
Spoilers: none
Word Count: ~2000 total
Summary: prompt fill in j2_a_day. prompt was "Jensen shares something on stage that Jared didn't know about him." from wastetheyears

Disclaimer: Jensen and Jared belong only to each other themselves.

link to story at posting site




Jensen squinted as he tried to make out the question from the back of the room, despite the dull roar of voices and the accent that was thicker than smog in LA.

“Did any experience during filming hit close to home and have an effect on me, is that the basic question?” He glanced at the faces he could make out in the front few rows, the few people not blurred by the blinding lights shining on them on stage. He received a few tentative nods from the fascinated faces.

Jared fidgeted. Unfortunately, they had given them stools that swiveled and Jared had a hard time sitting still under the best of circumstances. Give him a swiveling stool and he was like a four year old on crack. Jensen grinned a bit and tried to ignore his antics, though deep down he found them, as always, pretty damned adorable. One of his favorite things about Jared, a list that was extensive to say the least, was his inner (often outer) child.

“Well, when I was seven, my family was at the lake. We had a cabin on a lake in Texas. We went there pretty much every summer, usually for several long weekends. It was one of my favorite places, and I had been swimming all my life. I learned to swim almost as early as I learned to walk, according to my momma. But this one afternoon, I jumped in….and I don’t know if I hit the water funny, or what, but the air was knocked out of me. I gasped, I guess, and took in a bunch of water.”

The audience was completely silent and Jared had stopped fidgeting, his gaze laser focused on Jensen, but Jensen was lost in his own mind, the events of that hot summer day as fresh in his mind as if they had happened two weeks ago instead of over twenty years.

He continued, “I remember sinking and starting to struggle, and I guess I kept sucking in more water because it was like I couldn’t see which way was up or coordinate my limbs to swim to the surface.”

He paused and saw for the first time the intense look on Jared’s face as he listened. “Luckily Josh had seen me fall in, had probably laughed at how stupid I looked, but was quick to realize I didn’t surface right away, and he pulled me out pretty fast. Felt like I was under that water for hours, although I’m sure it was less than a coupla minutes. I guess that’s the most scared I’ve ever been. ”

He looked away from Jared, suddenly aware that they were staring at each other, and grinned half-heartedly at the audience, trying to lighten the mood.

“Anyway, when we filmed ‘Dead in the Water’ and I had to pull Nico out of the lake, I had serious flashbacks to that day. I’ve never had a problem being in the water or anything, but that just hit close to home, I guess. And again when Jared had to pull the little girl out of the pool in season two, in ‘Playthings’ it bothered me enough that I stayed away from set most of that filming.”

The audience erupted in chatter, and Jensen glanced back at Jared who looked…angry?

Jared quickly recovered, putting his game face back on and engaging with the audience. Acting like the professional he was, despite his usual antics. But he felt really hurt. How could Jensen just step out here and share something like that? Something he had never told Jared.

Who else knew, other than the obvious: his family. Probably Chris. Hell, any time Jared thought he was in on something new, Chris was always there, grinning like an ass and letting him know it was old news.

Once they were back in their respective rooms, Jared looked toward the connecting door.

They pretty much always kept it either open or unlocked, since they often hung out in each other’s rooms during their down time. He could hear Jensen moving around in his room. Probably taking off his shoes and throwing himself onto his bed. The cons always took a lot out of Jensen. He still didn’t relax, still worried he was going to look stupid or say something wrong.

Jared crossed to the door and knocked , opening the door without waiting for permission. Sure enough, Jensen was in his socked feet, sprawled face first on his bed. He didn’t even look up when Jared came in.

Jared stood looking down on Jensen for a few long moments, not sure what he was going to say. He felt left out and hurt and frustrated. He was supposed to be Jensen’s best friend, dammit. Why didn’t he know something Jensen was so willing to just throw out to the whole world?

“Are you staring at my ass, Padalecki?” Jensen’s voice was muffled by the pillow his face was buried in.

Ha. If only Jensen knew. This was the first time in a long time that given the opportunity he hadn’t been staring at his ass. His eyes flickered down and admired the view for a moment before he realized he was being distracted from his mission. “I thought I was your best friend.”

Jared heard his own voice and it sounded kinda pitiful, not at all like the annoyed accusation he had in mind.

Jensen pushed up on his hands and flipped over, looking up at Jared. “Of course you are. Yeah, of course, J.”

“Then why do I have to hear things like that life altering shit you just told the whole world at the same time you tell the whole world?” Jared crossed his arms over his chest and scowled down at Jensen.

“It wasn’t a secret or anything, man.” Jensen sat up, leaning back against the headboard and feeling a little bit attacked. “Just…never came up, I guess?”

“Bullshit.” Jared spat. “Maybe not during your shoot, but by the time we filmed ‘Playthings’ we were good friends, best friends, I would have said.”

Not knowing what to say, Jensen just nodded his head in agreement.

“Does Chris know?” Jared veered off on a tangent Jensen hadn’t expected. Of course, none of what was happening was exactly expected.

Nodding again, Jensen said, “Yeah, Chris knows. Why?”

Jared huffed, face darkening in anger again, and turned and left the room. For fuck’s sake, if Jensen didn’t know why it mattered that Chris knew while he didn’t then he was all kinds of stupid.

Jensen was off his bed and following Jared without a thought. “J? I’m sorry. I don’t really understand why it matters, but yeah, Chris knew. Not because we had some deep conversation about it but because years ago he went to the lake with my family one weekend. It’s one of those stories that comes up when someone new is with us, I guess.”

Jared turned around and looked at Jensen. “It happens a lot, you know? Why is Chris always there first?”

“We’ve just known each other a long time. It’s not like it’s because he is more important or something. Come on. I just felt out of sorts that day when you were filming and I didn’t want to talk about it. It wasn’t something I was keeping from you.” Jensen sounded pleading. He hated for Jared to be upset. And the thought that Chris, or hell, anyone was more important to Jensen than Jared? Was ludicrous. Jared was the center of Jensen’s world. In more ways than he could even think about admitting to his best friend. Hell, he wanted to keep his friendship.

Jensen went to the mini-bar and pulled out a bunch of liquor. “Let’s have a drink, chill out. K?”

“You wanna tell me some of the things Chris knows that I don’t?” Jared growled, only half of his anger remaining now.

“Sure.”

Three hours later they had moved from Jared’s now empty mini-bar to Jensen’s. They had somehow found their way to the floor, leaning against the foot board of Jensen's bed and talking. Confessions and stupid stories had made their way out into the open, and they were giggling like ten year old boys at their last sleepover, right before they realize they are too cool and too manly to giggle, or have sleepovers anymore.

Jensen shoved his shoulder against Jared’s as he let out another peal of laughter at the last story. Then he dropped his head to Jared’s upper arm and caught his breath.

Jared looked down at the top of Jensen’s head and heaved a sigh. If someone had asked him earlier today if it was possible to love this man any more than he already did he would have given an emphatic ‘no’ as answer. Now he realized how wrong he had been.

He nudged Jensen softly, “Hey.”

Jensen snuffled quietly and looked up, closer than he expected. “Yeah?”

Jared’s eyes didn’t stray from Jensen’s as he asked quietly, serious for the first time in hours,”You and Chris ever….”

Jensen’s forehead wrinkled in confusion for a moment. “Me and Chris? Naw.”

“Never even kissed him?”

“No.” As soon as the word was out of his mouth, Jared leaned in and pressed his lips softly to the oh so tempting ones in front of him. He brushed his mouth softly back and forth over Jensen’s and heard the soft gasp before Jensen opened and pressed in closer, tongue darting out to taste Jared’s lower lip.

They both turned toward each other unconsciously, moving closer. Jensen’s hand came up to rest over Jared’s heart, a place it had rested many times when he needed reassurance or calming, or just to know the beat of that beloved organ. Their lips slotted together, tongues tangling and Jared moaned softly as his own hands found the small of Jensen’s back, pulling him in close and skimming his fingers over the soft skin there.

Jensen whimpered quietly as he licked his way into Jared’s mouth, exploring and tasting, his other hand coming up to tangle in the hair at the collar of Jared’s t-shirt.

They broke apart long minutes later and Jared grinned. He now knew several things Christian Kane didn’t and never would, under threat of death. He knew how good Jensen’s mouth tasted, and how those sinfully beautiful lips felt under his own, and that Jensen was the best kisser Jared had ever known.

Jensen sighed, leaning his forehead against Jared’s. “I just thought of something else Chris knows that I never told you.”

Jared’s eyebrows drew together in frustration. He didn’t want to hear that name on the mouth he had just learned so thoroughly. But he waited.

Jensen’s eyes caught Jared’s and held. “I told him a long time ago that I was in love with you.”

The breath left Jared’s lungs like he had been kicked in the stomach. But the fluttering he felt there was far from painful. “Damn, Jen. You know how to surprise a guy.”

Jensen pressed his lips to Jared’s before moving to drop kisses on his cheeks and forehead. He felt a little off kilter from everything that had happened, and now he was scared that he had pushed too far too fast. Jared probably just wanted to run now.

Jared nudged Jensen with his jaw, bringing their eyes back in contact. “I love you, Jen.”

Jensen looked so surprised and relieved Jared giggled like a girl at her first sleepover. Jensen couldn’t resist, tongue darting out to touch that deep dimple he was so fascinated with.

“You wanna have a sleepover here in my room?” Jensen’s own smile was bright and happy.

Jared didn’t know what Jensen meant by sleepover exactly, but whether Jensen meant anything from just snuggling and talking to kissing and making out to making love and discovering more secrets, Jared knew for sure the answer was ‘yes’.