Big Bang 2012 -- I'm Showing You How Epic We Would Be -- Prologue

[rain_n_snow]

Fic title: I’m Showing You How Epic We Would Be
Author name: deansgirl369
Artist name: Acuarella_117
Genre: rps
Pairing: j2
Rating: NC-17
Word count: ~28,000
Warnings: a little angst
Summary: Jensen and Jared are in love with each other, but neither has let the other in on the secret yet. Then Jensen finds a hidden list that might help him show Jared just how perfect they could be together.
Link to fic:
read here--deansgirl369

Link to art:
this way to beautiful art--acuarella_117

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“Come on, dude. It’s no big deal. I wouldn’t offer if it was.” Jared was sprawled out on the couch, legs spread and head tilted to rest on the back. He slitted one eye open and glanced over at Jensen who appeared less relaxed than he should be after at least four beers and three? Four? Tequila shots.

Jensen didn’t meet Jared’s gaze but tried to maintain his calm. “I dunno, man. I mean, we‘re together all day. Don’t you think that would be a strain? Wouldn’t want you to regret it in two months when you get sick of seeing my face every morning and night as well as all day long.”

Jared grunted, half laugh half snort. “Aww, Jen, I could never get sick of that pretty face.” His smile was lazy and wide. “But seriously, if I’m not sick of you yet, I think we will be fine. Besides, you could basically have the whole downstairs to yourself. No kitchen down there, but not like you are a five star chef or anything. We wouldn’t have to be in each other’s space all the time.”

Jensen watched that smile, not knowing if it was that grin or the offer that warmed him from the inside out. Hell, maybe it was the alcohol. He was tempted to say yes, but also terrified that moving in with Jared would be a terrible idea and the best way to get things he kept buried deep, things he didn’t want exposed to the light of day, drug out and thrown at Jared’s size thirteen feet.

“Thanks, Jare.” Jensen sighed and tried to relax back into the couch. “It’s really nice of you to offer. I might take you up on that. Let me think about it, ok?”

Jared snorted, “I dunno what there is to think about, but ok. If you might choose homelessness over living with me, I may be just a little hurt, but I will live. You aren’t gonna find a place in the next week unless you move back into a hotel. That would suck. Food for thought.”

Nodding, Jensen drank the rest of his now lukewarm beer and sat the empty bottle on the coffee table next to Jared’s feet. “I should go.” He announced, but made no move to get up.

Jared nudged him with a foot, “Just spend the night in the guest room. You would have to call a taxi anyway, can’t drive after all you’ve had to drink. Besides, it will be good practice for when you move in.”



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Three days later, Jensen had thought about little else, but was still unsure what he should do about his living arrangements. Of course he wanted nothing more than to move in with Jared, but the way he wanted to ‘live’ with Jared was different than what he knew Jared had in mind. He was so afraid that his secret would be exposed and would ruin the best friendship he had ever had.

Then again, it was convenient, it was the only prospect he had unless he found something in the next two days, and it would be the sweetest of tortures to wake up in the same house with Jared and go to bed knowing Jared was only a floor away. He was beyond temped.

He watched as Jared worked on his scene. He had grown so much as an actor. Jensen was proud of him. He had gone from little more than a kid when they started filming the pilot to a good actor and a grown man. Grown. Hell yeah, he was grown. He was like eight feet tall and now had more muscle than Sam’s emo character could ever need. Damn. It was like the perfect human embodiment of everything Jensen wanted and couldn’t have.

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Jared glanced over from his mark on set to see Jensen sitting in his chair, messing with his iPod, his knee bouncing a million miles a minute. He was obviously stressing over something. Jared knew that bounce.

What didn’t he know about Jensen? There wasn’t much. He knew how Jensen took his coffee, he knew how grumpy he was first thing in the morning. He knew how he liked his steak. He knew he had freckles on his stomach, his back, his ears. Hell, he knew what he looked for in a woman: gorgeous, funny and sexy. All things Jared thought he could probably bring to the table, though unfortunately in the wrong body. He felt a little burst of heat burn through his belly as he watched Jensen. No man, no human, should be so damned beautiful. It turned him inside out and he wanted. Damn, but he wanted.

His mind went to the conversation from the other night and felt a thrill of anticipation rush through his veins. He had tried not to push about the moving in idea, despite how much he wanted it. He had images of Jensen walking around his house, wet from a morning shower, rumpled and sleepy, relaxed and watching tv, making dinner or just ordering in with Jared. It would be torture to have Jensen around even more and not be able to have all of him, sure, but a delicious torture that he would welcome.

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Jensen woke feeling slightly disoriented. With a quick look around, he realized it was because he was in Jared’s house. It had been several weeks but sometimes he still woke feeling slightly out of sorts and a bit panicked. He supposed it had something to do with being somewhat anxious, even in sleep, to let his guard down now that he was living in Jared’s house. Afraid that if he wasn’t careful enough Jared would see all the secrets he was keeping.

The house was quiet. Glancing at the time projected on the ceiling by his alarm clock: 6:05, he assumed Jared was out running with the dogs, and reached to turn off the alarm. It would be going off in ten minutes anyway. Might as well get up and get moving. Otherwise Jared would probably let the dogs wake him up, which generally consisted of Harley jumping on the bed and putting his cold nose on Jensen’s neck or face, whatever part of his skin he could readily reach. Jensen much preferred the days when Jared would come down to his room and gently nudge him awake.

Sometimes he would feign sleep a few extra moments just to enjoy the soft ‘Jen’ and the warm hand on his shoulder, once or twice even sifting through his hair momentarily. But those mornings were fewer and farther between. Usually it was Harley and the cold nose, followed by Sadie sitting next to the head of the bed, watching for signs of life and whining at him when he didn’t immediately respond. Sadie was his girl and Jared swore she loved Jensen more than she loved Jared, so Jensen was pretty sure she just worried he would go to bed and never come back out one day.

When he threw back the covers, Jensen let out a whine of his own. It was damn cold in his room and he didn’t want to get up. It was an indicator of just how frigid it would be out in the Vancouver weather today and he wasn’t excited about that prospect. He was truly a Texas boy. He still couldn’t say he had fully adjusted to the cold temperatures of Canada, even after three years of near constant exposure. But he was fairly certain that a carafe of coffee awaited him in the kitchen, and he needed it. Jared generally started the coffee maker as he headed out for his morning run with the dogs so it would be ready when Jensen stumbled out of bed, and Jensen loved him just a little more for it.

He hurried to his open suitcase. He still hadn’t moved in completely. The hectic, grueling days on set the past two weeks not leaving much time for anything but coming home, eating something that was brought to the door and falling into bed to sleep as much as possible before doing it all again.

“Dammit Harley!” Jensen growled, despite knowing the dog couldn’t hear him, nor would it accomplish anything if he could. But, he knew he’d had at least two clean pair of socks yesterday morning after he got dressed. But now? Glancing around the room he saw one sock, half out the door. He knew without even thinking that if he picked up that sock it would be damp with dog slobber. Why did Harley insist on running off with his socks? Jensen knew how many toys Jared kept around for the dogs. Hell, Jensen himself had bought more chew toys and dog bones than any two dogs could need. But apparently nothing was more fun or tastier to Harley than Jensen’s socks. Washed or not.

Looking to his still packed and taped boxes, Jensen let out a huff of annoyance and decided that Jared would have to spare him a pair of socks. It was his fault he hadn’t taught Harley that socks were meant to be worn by humans, not eaten by dogs.

Since Jared was still not back from his run, probably wouldn’t be for another twenty minutes or more, Jensen climbed the stairs to Jared’s room and started opening drawers. The first two contained t-shirts, but the third revealed a few pair of socks, and Jensen grabbed one, thinking that they needed to do laundry if the mostly empty drawer was any indication.

He heard something rustle when he reached for the socks and a piece of folded in half paper was revealed, labeled ‘Jared’s List’, in his best friend’s handwriting. Curiosity got the best of him, and he pulled it out. Another sheet of paper was inside with Sandy’s writing on it, labeled ‘Sandy’s List’. He set the second sheet aside, not really interested in what it might contain. Jared was intriguing to Jensen, Sandy, while his friend from the time when Jared and she had dated, really wasn’t.

A slight tremor ran through Jensen as he opened the paper. He knew it must be something private, based on where it was kept, but he found that curiosity overcame guilt in needing to know what the list was, what it might reveal about Jared.

As he read the items numbered on the page Jensen clutched the paper hard, then realized what he was doing and forced his hand to relax as he tried not to wrinkle it more. His breath was coming in pants and his hard cock was tenting his sleep pants. He whimpered quietly and pressed the heel of his hand hard to his erection.

What he held was apparently a list of Jared’s fantasies or kinks or likes, things he wanted to try maybe. He couldn’t help but picture Jared doing all these things. But what intrigued and turned him on most was the fact that many of the things on the list were either acts that were clearly to be done with another man, or were ambiguous as to the gender of the other participant. He had never known Jared had any bisexual tendencies, but it was a revelation that heated him to the core.

Fuck. He suddenly wanted more than ever.

Jensen was pretty sure the words from that piece of paper were burned into his brain. He could think of little else in the coming days. But he had every intention of copying the list anyway. He was so fucked up over Jared. This was just one more thing that was going to make him crazy.

chapter 1





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