rain_n_snow | I'm Showing You How Epic We Would Be -- Chapter 6 (Reply)

Fic title: I’m Showing You How Epic We Would Be
Author name: deansgirl369
Artist name: Acuarella_117
Genre: rps
Pairing: j2
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 28,000+
Warnings: a little angst
Summary: Jensen and Jared are in love with each other, but neither has let the other in on the secret yet. Then Jensen finds a hidden list that might help him show Jared just how perfect they could be together.
Link to fic:
read here –deansgirl369

Link to art:
this way to beautiful art—acuarella_117

______

When Jared’s alarm went off, he rolled out of bed and halfway to getting dressed he realized the source of the feeling of unease he had woken with. Jensen. Damn. The last person he ever expected to be uncomfortable with was Jensen. They had clicked from day one. It had been like they had known each other forever within a few weeks, had been inseparable within a few months and by the end of season one, they had been JensenandJared. Everyone accepted that they were always together, as if inevitable and perfectly natural. No one questioned it, least of all them. Even Chris and Chad, while not always fans of the idea, for different reasons, but with the best of intentions for the most part, knew and learned to deal, knowing it wasn’t going to change.

Cursing when he opened his sock drawer only to find it empty yet again, Jared paused before closing it, a tingle running up his spine as flashes of…something niggled at the back of his mind. He reached in for the piece of paper that had been there forever but he had never read again since throwing it in there. He and Sandy had written the stupid lists in an attempt to make things better, to improve their relationship, recapture what they once had, or thought they had had at least, just days before they separated for good. When he opened his list, the words written there seemed to mock him as he recognized so many things that had happened in the last few weeks, that Jensen had seemingly acted out of character and done. So many things clicked into place in his mind then. Even the moment last night when Jensen had gone from totally in the moment to ‘acting’ or whatever happened when he became a different version of himself in bed. The stilted quality that some of his words and actions had taken on. Obviously Jensen had seen this stupid list and…what? Used it to play Jared?

Replacing the list, Jared threw on his dirty pair of socks from the day before and collected the dogs before stepping out into the cold Vancouver morning for a hard run. He needed to clear his mind. He was furious and felt stupid and used and embarrassed, played for a fool…so many emotions he had never associated with Jensen, nor never expected to be caused by his closest friend.

Despite having run longer and harder than most mornings, Jared did not feel better when he got back to the house and got into the shower. He needed to hurry after taking so long with the run, so he was rushing to get to the car and for once Jensen was there before him, leaning against the window, coffee in hand. Jared was angry with him, and still he wanted nothing more than to fix things and pull Jensen into his arms and kiss him senseless. Yeah, everything sucked.

~~~

“Cut!” Kim practically screamed, frustration evident. “Padalecki, dammit, he’s your brother, remember? Not your cheating ex-girlfriend…boyfriend…whatever.”

He called for the shot to be reset and threw himself back into his chair. “Take five, and don’t punch Ackles’ pretty face while you’re gone. Make up doesn’t need your assistance making him look beat up.”

Jensen looked at Jared sideways. He had thought it was his overactive imagination telling him that Jared was shooting him looks that could kill. But apparently Kim had noticed it.

“J?” Jensen approached Jared slowly, not sure if he was indeed going to get punched in the face. “What’s up?”

Jared practically snarled in his direction, “Not now, Jensen. Let’s get through this day from hell and we will talk later.”

Jensen was glad he didn’t gasp out loud the way he had in his head. Jared had never used that tone with him. He had rarely heard him use it ever. Maybe that one time in the bar, when they had gotten into a fight with some drunken idiots in season one, but even then he wasn’t certain it had held that much anger or venom.

He stepped back, hurt and fear coursing through him. After what had happened the night before, he had thought that maybe they were headed toward something bigger, more. Like maybe he had a glimmer of a chance to possess all he held most dear. Now he was afraid that he was going to lose Jared completely. That was not the face of a man in love, or even the face of someone looking at their best friend. He turned and stumbled, hurrying toward his trailer where he could hide, hopefully to get himself together enough to get through this last scene so he could escape from everything.

~~~

On the way home, the tension in the air was practically a physical entity. Clif wisely stayed completely silent, turning the radio to something innocuous and just doing his job of getting them home safely. Jensen was on the edge of his seat, nerves frayed, but had no intention of addressing anything until they were at home alone. He had no idea why Jared was so angry with him, but he would do his damnedest to make things better, whatever it took. Jared was first and foremost his best friend. That was not something Jensen was willing to give up, no matter what else might be between them, even if there was nothing more.

~~~

Once inside the house Jared immediately headed for his bedroom. Jensen wasn’t willing to just let things go, however, and followed him. Whatever was going on, he wanted it out in the open and dealt with so he didn’t lose his best friend. It was obviously something that had Jared so angry he was practically vibrating with it.

Jared stomped up the stairs and threw open his bedroom door, toeing off his shoes as he went. Jensen stopped at the doorway, unsure of his welcome, but within sight of Jared.

“J?” His voice sounded pitiful and hesitant, and Jensen cleared his throat. “What’s wrong?”

Jared whirled on him and glared. “Nothing, Jensen. Nothing important anyway. Just you playing me for a fool. Using my emotions against me. I…fuck, it’s so beyond anything I ever expected from you, I don’t even know how to deal. I trusted you. Practically begged you to move into my home for fuck’s sake. And then, what? Was the making out thing and…whatever happened in your room last night just a big joke to you? Did you laugh at me behind my back?”

Jensen gasped at the hostility and pain he saw and felt coming from Jared. “What? No! No, J. No matter what else, I would never laugh at you. I…” He knew then, that Jared must have somehow realized that he had seen the list. “I…found the list, I guess you know that. I wanted to tell you…I was going to tell you, I swear. At first…well, at first it was just a way to….” Jensen drew in a deep breath. He had gotten himself into this and there was no way to escape without laying it all out there, telling Jared the truth finally, the whole painful truth. “To maybe make you want me the way I wanted you.”

The look Jared gave him was full of disdain and disbelief, but hope was fighting for its own place in his eyes, Jensen was sure he could see it. Maybe Jared cared enough about their friendship to believe him, to understand even if he could never share those feelings, to forgive him and move on. “I just…I wanted you so much. No. I didn’t just want you, I wanted you to be…mine. I wanted you to look at me the way you used to look at Sandy. I wanted to finally share the things I have needed my whole life and been too afraid to tell anyone, share with anyone. But…I wanted…want you enough that it was worth overcoming that fear, if it meant you could be mine, could want me in return.”

Jared had moved closer without Jensen even realizing it. He had dropped his eyes to his own hands, twisting together hard enough to create whitened knuckles. He gasped quietly when he raised his eyes to find Jared’s so close, so intent on his own. But he wasn’t saying anything. Jensen had more explaining to do, he knew.

“So, I found the list by accident one morning a few weeks ago. Harley had eaten my last clean socks, and you were out running with them. I just figured I would borrow a pair of yours.” Jensen licked his lips, scrubbing a hand along the back of his neck in a default stress move Jared recognized very well. “I saw the list and…I know I shouldn’t have looked at it. I never meant to betray your trust. It just happened, I mean, I know it is my fault…anyway, I read it and it was like being given this intimate look, this perfect set of instructions on how to win what I most wanted.” His eyes raised to Jared’s momentarily and the crystal green was intensely regretful and pleading for understanding.

Jared watched Jensen as he struggled through the explanation of how he found the list, and he felt the last of his anger ebb away. He knew it was probably his own forgiving nature, but Jensen was…hell, Jensen was his everything. He wanted to forgive him, and it was easy. Nothing like this had ever happened, and listening to Jensen say how much Jared meant and why he had done what he did, there was no way he could maintain his anger any longer. He wanted, no needed to hear the rest, so he just nodded almost imperceptibly when Jensen met his gaze to indicate he was listening and wanted him to continue.

“It wasn’t like I thought that doing any of those things would make you fall for me. Not that I believed that you would suddenly be in love with me if I turned you on or anything. But I guess…well, I just figured a little piece of everything was better than nothing. Not that your friendship isn’t something…I mean, it means the world to me. But I have wanted more, wanted you, for so long. Fuck, J. I’m sorry. I’m just so very sorry. I will do whatever it takes to make you trust me again, to keep your friendship, to make you realize you can trust me again. I will never betray your trust that way ever again, I swear. I know you don’t feel that way about me. But, I can live without that, as long as you are my friend again. I’ll beg if I have to to get you to forgive me. I will do whatever it takes, J.”

Jensen seemed to run out of words and energy all at once. His body seemed to deflate even more than it had from the beginning of the discussion and he looked so small and pitiful, Jared felt a physical need to wrap him up and reassure him that all would be fine, that of course he would always be his best friend, and…so much more. Jared felt warmth spread through him at all Jensen had told him. The fact that this gorgeous, perfect man would want him and care about him so much, enough to try so hard to gain his attention, was boggling to him. He could see everything he wanted within arm’s reach and he knew it was finally going to be his. His heart was pounding in his chest and he felt like there was electricity running through his body. He knew he could finally just have it all, and it was like Christmas and all his birthdays rolled into one huge perfect gift.

“No.” Jared said the word without even realizing he was going to. Jensen’s head jerked up and his body reacted as if he had been hit. “No. I mean, no I don’t want you to beg. I don’t want you to apologize anymore at all. I forgive you, man. I know it was not you, not really.”

The silence stretched between them for a long moment and Jensen looked down, away. The words helped, but he was still so on edge, so unsure what he was supposed to do, how he could really make it all better.

“Jensen.” He could hear the need and the desire and, even the love in his own voice and wondered if Jensen could too. He waited for Jensen to look up at him. When he did the vulnerability and the unadulterated desperation he saw there was too much and he couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“Damn Jensen. Do you know how badly I need to kiss you again? I…it’s like it’s all I can think about. I want it so badly it’s eating me up inside.” Jared held up his hands in a pleading gesture, almost reaching for Jensen but pulling up short. “Please, Jen. Wanna taste you again. Need to. Can I kiss you?”

Jensen shuddered. There were a million butterflies flitting around in his stomach. What? Where had that come from? He wasn’t a fifteen year old girl with her first crush. He was a man. From Texas, dammit. Still. His stomach was dancing and no denying it. Jared saying these things, along with the idea of kissing Jared again, the memory of kissing him the other times. The forgiveness and acceptance he could read in Jared’s ever earnest face. It all added up to some pretty heady shit.

Jared paused a moment, waiting for a refusal and when none was forthcoming, he covered Jensen’s mouth with his own. It felt so good he was instantly hard, and the swooping in his chest was powerful. His tongue flicked out to taste the inside of Jensen’s bottom lip and he took it into his mouth, sucking softly. Then Jensen caught on, and he was giving back with a soft whimper. ThankyouGod and yesyesyes,please. Their mouths crashed together, tongues delving and tasting, taking and sharing. Their hands were grasping at arms, tangling in hair, stroking down backs to grasp tight ass cheeks.

Sucking in a huge gulp of air as they drew apart, Jared rested his forehead against Jensen’s. “Fuck, Jen, your mouth…” He paused, licking at the moist lips already swollen from being possessed by his own.

Jensen’s heart clenched tight for a few moments as he waited for the inevitable. He had heard it so many times. ‘Cock sucking lips.’ ‘Lips meant to be fucked.’ ‘Sinful.’ Like he was dirty or slutty just for having them. It was hardly something new or original, but it was going to hurt coming from Jared. His eyes slid closed as if that could shut out the words.

“So beautiful. Just gorgeous. I can’t get enough. You taste so good…fuck, I sound like an idiot. See what you do to me? I guess I need to write poetry.” He smiled, dimples winking as Jensen’s eyes opened to see him. “But seriously, Jen. Your mouth deserves poetry. It’s just perfect.”

Jensen just stared, taking in all that had happened. Jared was obviously offering forgiveness as well as so much more that Jensen thought was forever beyond his reach, especially after today’s revelations. Jensen felt weak with relief and the wash of happiness that flowed through him was making him weak.

Jensen leaned into Jared’s warm strong body, enjoying the feel of him, so solid and real under his questing fingers and mouth. He wanted to consume him, take him all in and never let go. That he was being given this second chance was so far beyond what he had expected from this day or really ever, was making him so happy he was slightly breathless, or maybe that was Jared’s kissing and touching him.

Needing more, needing everything he had dreamt about, Jensen maneuvered Jared against the wall of his bedroom, almost shoving him against it in his eagerness to have it all and have it now. Once he had Jared against the wall with his mouth devouring the warm wetness he had quickly become addicted to, Jensen pushed a hand up into the long hair at Jared’s nape and clenched, pulling his head down and positioning him the way he wanted him. Jensen ground himself against Jared’s body, his cock rubbing hard through layers of denim to line up against Jared’s own hard length.

Holy fuck. Jensen was pushing him around like it was nothing, and Jared was unable to catch his breath at the realization that he was kissing not only Jensen but a man. A man big enough and strong enough to control him, make him do what he wanted. Well, maybe not make him, he was bigger and stronger and probably outweighed Jensen at this point in his life by about forty pounds, all of them muscle, but it was so different than anything he had ever experienced and yet something he had wanted so much, even without always consciously realizing it, for so long, that it made him a little crazy. He wanted Jensen to throw him around, to toss him onto the bed and force him to do whatever he most wanted. For just an instant the list crossed his mind, but he could tell the difference now in Jensen. Jensen was so in the moment there was no way he was thinking of anything else. Besides, he had known immediately when Jensen had thought of the list previously, even if he hadn’t known what exactly was going on, he had felt the loss of connection that time, and this time, there was no doubt he was acting on need and desire and instinct. Jared started to lose control when another thought occurred to him. He drew a deep breath for the strength to pull away and dragged his mouth from Jensen’s.

Jensen’s mouth tried desperately to follow his, to reclaim his lips, and Jared weakened and almost gave in before shaking his head hard to clear it. “Jensen, no.”

A flash of so many emotions crossed Jensen’s face in the next few moments that Jared lost any remaining doubt as to how much this truly meant to him. His face crumpled slightly before Jared rushed to reassure him.

“No, Jense, I just mean…wait.” He struggled to get his breathing under control as he held Jensen tight, hands rubbing up and down his back in a reassuring and caring gesture. “Not like this. I mean, not in the heat of anger or right after making up from a fight. Not for our real first time, ok?”

Jensen’s eyes closed in relief and in his own struggle to regain charge of himself. He had never wanted anything as urgently as he did Jared right at this moment. Felt overcome with desire and the need to express it. To finally find out all the things he had suppressed inside himself, refused to admit to wanting, needing. Although he had always known he was attracted to men and not really to women, he had pushed that all down so deep for so long he had almost forgotten. But now that he was so close, he wanted to climb into Jared’s skin and cling tightly, not give him a chance to realize what a mistake he might be making taking a chance on Jensen and this thing that might not be as worth it as it is for Jensen.

Jared dropped his forehead to rest against Jensen’s. “Jen?” The quiet was starting to worry him more than he liked.

Green eyes finally met his, and Jared smiled tentatively. “You know how much I want you, right? It’s just…I don’t want to be sorry when I look back on our first time. I want it to be a good memory…hell, an incredible memory.”

Jensen returned the smile, his face losing a bit of its fear and tension. Jared didn’t seem to be backing out completely. Continuing to run his fingers through the silky hair he had wanted to touch for so long, Jensen waited for his breathing to return to normal and to see what Jared wanted.

“Jense?” Now Jared sounded a little unsure.

“Yeah, J. I do too. I want it to be a good memory, I mean.” He knew better than to push his luck, but he heard the words spilling out. “More though, right? This is more than just fucking, more than lust? I want you so much, and I know how I went about this was such a fucked up mess, but I know now that I can’t do this if it’s just going to be sex and then nothing…”

Jared looked a little stricken at that. “No. Jensen? What do you think this is? I’m really glad we didn’t go ahead with this if you are thinking like that.” He felt Jensen’s body tighten up in his arms, felt like he was going to pull away, run. “Stop, Jen. Don’t you know me at all? How many times have you ever seen me with some random hook up? That’s not me, and to think I would do that and jeopardize our friendship, even if I had no other feelings for you? We need to step back and get our heads on straight if you are even considering that line of thinking.”

Jensen shook his head, not sure what Jared had said, his thoughts jumping, jumbled in his head. Jared was upset and definitely setting things aside, pushing Jensen away. Panicking, he just wanted to get away now, to regroup, get his head on straight and start figuring out how to move forward as Jared’s best friend. To already be hearing the words ‘we need to take a step back’ let him know that this was something Jared considered a mistake. Better now than once they went farther, got in even deeper. They could still recover from this, right?

Jared saw Jensen’s eyes dim and the spark go out. What the fuck? What was he thinking? He was far away now, not with Jared here anymore and Jared felt the loss like a punch. His mind was racing back over what had just happened. Had he done something that pushed Jensen away? Whatever it was, he was going to fix it before things got worse, before he lost what he had just been able to see, feel within his grasp, finally. No. Jared shook Jensen and grasped his chin, tilting it to force his gaze up.

Whatever had been in Jensen’s face wasn’t there now and Jared felt like screaming. “Jensen.” He gritted out.

Jensen smiled, though it didn’t reach his eyes. Jared wanted to shake him again, hard.

Jensen pulled back, the smile fixed on his face, and it was so close to the smile Jensen gave in interviews when he was tired of the painfully intimate questions that Jared hated it. When Jensen pulled out of Jared’s arms completely and turned with a little laugh. “You’re right, J. Step back. Got it. I’m just gonna…”

Reaching for Jensen, Jared missed grasping his arm when he moved faster than expected. “Stop.” Jared’s voice came out louder and yet more like a plea than an order. It was like he could feel Jensen slipping away when he hadn’t even gotten to have him yet.

But Jensen was out of the room before Jared could say another word. Jared felt defeated and turned to go to his own room before he caught himself. Fuck this. He wasn’t going to just give up, walk away, let Jensen hide behind his emotional walls. He was going to at least find out what happened, why Jensen had pulled away. He was going to do all he could, know that he had tried his best before he let something this big, this fucking monumental slip through his hands.

Throwing open Jensen’s door, he started to speak but the words froze on his lips as he realized Jensen was throwing clothes into a duffel. “What are you doing? Come on, Jensen, talk to me. I feel like the rug was pulled out from under me. One minute I think we are going to finally get to that place, where I thought we both wanted to be, and then you are running from me, now leaving the house, packing clothes?” His voice was getting louder, he was close to yelling.

Jensen flinched, but kept packing his bag. “You were right. We need to step back. I don’t know what I was thinking. I know you aren’t gay, J. I…I know I never even told you that I am. I mean, I am, but I have never…well, it was never worth the career I was building to actually give it a shot. I just acted my way through dating like I do at work. But I know you really aren’t. I guess when I saw the list and saw that you had ideas about…that you were curious about guys…I was just selfish and willing to push it to get what I wanted. I’m so sorry…”

Jared felt like tearing his hair out. It was like Jensen didn’t hear anything he was saying. He grabbed Jensen around the waist, stepping close into his body and pulling Jensen tight. “Shut up.” He growled into Jensen’s ear, his voice harsh and low. “I want you to listen to me. Really listen, hear what I am saying. Ok?”

Wanting nothing more than to be held by Jared, Jensen was unable to pull away again. His force of will had been tested by doing it once, he didn’t have it in him to do it again so soon. He nodded, his body tense and tight, but not moving away.

“I mean it this time, you listen and believe what I say. I’m not going to lie to you, I haven’t before and I won’t start now.” He leaned in, tucking his nose under Jensen’s ear and taking a deep breath, smelling the intoxicating scent he loved. “I have wanted those things, especially some of those things, my whole life. I have never been completely straight. I always wondered, just never acted on it. It was easier to be with women and not explore that in this business. But I have thought about it, and especially about you, for a long time. I just didn’t know you would be interested. You never told me you are bi or gay or whatever, and you have dated several women since I’ve known you and no men, so how could I know?” He squeezed Jensen tight, nuzzled his neck and ear before going on. “But believe this. I want you, Jensen. I want to make love to you, I want to fuck you, I want to kiss you. Hold you, sleep with you, wake up with you, smell you, look at you, laugh with you. I want it all. I want you. All of you, all the time. I don’t just want to fuck you. You are mine now, and even though we aren’t going to rush into this tonight and mess it all up, that doesn’t mean I want you one iota less. Just relax, have just a tiny bit of faith in me, in us, please?”

Jensen was trembling, and his heart felt on the verge of bursting with the happiness Jared was filling it with. He was still afraid, like he was about to touch butterfly wings and the beauty would crumble in his fingers. So very close. He was going to clutch this to him, hope that it was strong enough to withstand his grasp. “Yes. Jare. I want you so much, need you. I don’t care how long we wait, I just didn’t know you felt…like that, that you wanted me and wanted to be with me.”

“Hell yes, I do. Wanted you for so long. I thought I was telling you that, but you just stopped listening or something.” Jared turned Jensen in his arms, holding him, and running his hands down to Jensen’s lower back, brushing his fingers over soft skin at his waistband.

Jensen shivered at the light touch and looked up at Jared from beneath his lashes, hesitant smile hovering at his lips. “So long?” Jensen encouraged.

“Yeah. In some form it’s been years. Not blind, Jensen. I saw from the moment I met you that you were gorgeous, and felt something. But I didn’t let myself think about it too closely for a long time. Especially since I was with Sandy, I am not a cheater, you know that. So I just pushed it down, loved you like a brother and refused to let the sexual thoughts out.” He brushed his lips across Jensen’s and watched as Jensen’s face relaxed and his eyes fell closed.

“So, waiting a few days to actually have sex won’t kill either of us, I don’t think. Besides, I’ve decided I deserve something from you. After you used that list to exploit me, or my feelings, I guess.”

Jensen gripped Jared’s biceps as if some part of him thought Jared was going to suddenly bolt now that he was reminded of Jensen’s crimes. “I am sorry, J. I really am…I’ll do whatever you want.”

Jared cut him off with another kiss. “I forgive you, Jense. I do. But, I think I want to see your list.”

Forehead wrinkling, Jensen shook his head. “I don’t have a list.”

“You will once you write one. I want to know all those things you want, Jensen. I want to be able to give you all the things you want and that turn you on, all the things you have never gotten to have or were afraid to ask for. So, tonight we will sleep on all this. You can write up your list this week and we will see where that takes us, ok?”

Jensen knew he would do whatever it took to make things up to Jared. He was so relieved that Jared was willing to forgive him and so thrilled that Jared wanted to be with him and was pretty overwhelmed with all he had just found out. Knowing he was going to get to have this made him so happy inside he wasn’t sure how to contain it. But he was scared. He had suppressed all these things for so long, suppressed all the things he really wanted his whole life, it was going to be hard as hell to write that down and put it all out there for Jared to read, to expose all that to someone else, even if it was Jared.

But, he would. He wasn’t going to be too weak to do the one thing that would make Jared happy with him, not now. So he was going to try to sleep, and think about writing this list, because the faster he could get that on paper, the closer he would be to getting to truly have Jared. “Yeah, anything. Of course I will do that, Jare. Thanks for giving me a way to make it better.”

Jared leaned in and captured Jensen’s lips with his own, stroking his tongue along the inside of his warm mouth. He moaned softly when Jensen sucked softly on his tongue as it entered. They stayed like that, pressed together and tasting each other, exploring mouths thoroughly for long minutes before Jensen pulled back slightly, smiling up at Jared softly. “We gotta stop, J. If you don’t stop, I won’t be able to.” His voice was rough with need and Jared wanted him so badly he almost picked him up and threw him on the bed. His need was strong, but his will held. He wanted to do this right. He had Jensen and he could wait, would wait.

“Can I…do you want to sleep together tonight, Jen?” Jared ran a hand along the side of Jensen’s face, stroking gently.

“Yeah. Yes. Want to feel you close to me. Always want that, J.” Jensen leaned into that huge warm hand.

They separated then, both pulling away slowly, not really wanting to lose their connection. Then they moved to take care of getting ready for bed. It was late and the exhaustion of the day combined with the emotional strain of the last hour was setting in quickly.

They came together in Jared’s room about fifteen minutes later, the smell of toothpaste and shampoo and soap lingering on both of them. Both glanced at each other as they slid into either side of the bed wearing soft tshirts and underwear.

When Jensen lay on his back staring at the ceiling for the first five minutes without moving, body tight and looking less than comfortable, Jared finally slid closer, wrapping an arm around Jensen’s middle and pulling him close, tucking him into Jared’s body as he turned onto his side. Jensen almost teased about not wanting to be the little spoon before he realized he was so glad to have Jared this close, his body warmth pressed all along Jensen’s body, that he decided that was not even true nor worth the effort of saying the words.

Jensen worked to slow his mind to a manageable speed, to relax it as much as his body now that it was wrapped in a Padalecki shaped blanket like he had dreamed of for years now. As he let his mind play back all of the crazy events of the evening, he realized that without meaning to, he had accomplished one more item on Jared’s list. He hoped Jared didn’t think it had been purposeful. Jensen was all the happier that it had happened without any intention on his part other than instinct.

“This ok?” Jared whispered, nose pressed to Jensen’s neck.

“Oh yeah, Jared. This is more than ok. Night, J.” Jensen whispered back, covering the hand Jared had tucked low on his belly with one of his own and wriggling just a bit closer.

They were both asleep within moments.