He Can't Have You, You're Mine
Feb. 11th, 2011 12:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rain_n_snowTitle: He Can’t Have You, You’re Mine
Rating: NC-17
Author: deansgirl369
Pairings: J2 Jensen/Jared
Characters: Jensen, Jared, Jason Manns
Spoilers: none
Word Count: ~4600
Summary: Jared finds himself fighting a losing battle with his jealousy as Jensen seems to share a special bond with Jason when he comes to visit and work on some music in Vancouver. Will Jared’s possessive behavior push Jensen away for good?
Inspired by a tweet from Jason mentioning going to Vancouver to practice with Jensen, then a convo with my bff about whether Jared will get jealous.
Disclaimer: If I owned either or both of them (I sooooo wish!!) I would definitely have better shit to do than write fanfiction!
Jared nuzzled into the warm scented curve of Jensen’s neck as he slept. It was one of his favorite things. Jared invariably woke up before Jensen and would either watch him sleep, cataloguing the beauty of the face he loved, the thick lashes that lay on high cheekbones, the narrow nose sprinkled with freckles, or just bury his face in Jensen’s neck and breathe him in.
Jensen grumbled and rolled away from Jared’s snuggling.
“Jen?” Jared sounded unsure and Jensen grinned sleepily.
Reaching around, Jensen grabbed Jared’s arm and pulled it around his body. “Come here, you big baby. I’m just teasing you.”
Jared sighed and bit Jensen’s shoulder playfully. “You think you’re so cute, Jen.”
“I think I’m adorable.” Jensen quoted, burrowing back into Jared’s heat.
Jared felt himself hardening as Jensen’s ass rubbed against his cock. “It’s Saturday. Let’s stay in bed all day. Lots of things I want to do with you, to you.”
“Mmmm…” Jensen agreed as Jared’s hand slipped down, sliding along taut stomach muscles and finding his already hardening cock. “As good as that sounds, J, we only have an hour or so. Did you forget Jason is coming in today? I told him he could stay here. He can use my old room.”
Uninterested in talking, Jared grunted and shifted to pull Jensen’s pliant body on top of his. “Sure, whatever. Now…fuck me.”
“Love you, J. Gonna make you feel so good. Make up for the fact that we don’t have all day.” Jensen leaned down, kissing Jared deep and long, exploring the mouth he knew so well.
“Yes.” Jared moaned into Jensen’s mouth, and it was the last word spoken for a long time.
“So good to see you, man.” Jason hugged Jensen tight, smiling brightly. He glanced at Jared as they stepped apart, hand out. “Thanks for letting me stay, Jared. I really appreciate it. Makes it easier to get time with Jensen too. You guys are so busy all the time.”
As they headed to baggage pick up Jensen slapped him on the back. “Well we have all weekend. That’s a good start. I really missed playing music. Chris and Steve haven’t been in town in months, either.”
Jared felt a twinge of sadness, he hated that this was such a big part of Jensen’s life that he couldn’t share in. He was glad it brought Jensen such satisfaction, was a way he worked out some of his stress and the things he couldn’t let out otherwise. Jensen had trouble releasing his emotions sometimes, and Jared knew music was cathartic in a way little else was.
Realizing the other two men had gotten away from him as he was lost in his own thoughts, Jared hurried to catch up, listening to the soft laughter he loved.
Jared sat and listened, loving the sound of Jensen’s voice and the fact that he was relaxed and enjoying himself. He was happy that Jensen was happy.
But it started by the first night. He felt a sense of tension as he watched Jason and Jensen together. He started to wonder if anything had ever happened between the men before he knew Jensen. Their comfort level was rare in Jensen’s life. He could think of less than a handful of people Jensen was this easy with, himself being one of those few. Their laughter and closeness started to make Jared feel left out somehow and insecure. He didn’t like there being anything that he couldn’t give Jensen. He had maybe been lulled by the last six months, getting to be pretty much Jensen’s everything.
“Gonna make a grocery run. We are almost out of beer.” He shot up from the couch, startling the two other men, whose heads were close together as they worked on a piece of music. Jensen looked at him questioningly. Jensen knew him so well, could hear something off in his voice, but he didn’t look back, knew his face would just offer up more information.
Jensen didn’t press the issue, and Jared was a bit saddened by that. What the hell? Did he expect Jensen to follow him, beg him to say what was wrong? Kiss him and hold him? Fuck. He was out the door in less than two minutes, grabbing his keys and wallet and sliding into a pair of shoes in the entryway.
Leaving the house hadn’t helped. He found himself picturing the other men in the house together alone, and the images that flooded his mind then made him almost desperate to get back, make sure nothing was going to happen that could take Jensen from him.
The sound of cabinets slamming as Jared put groceries away brought Jensen into the kitchen. Jared had looked in on them as soon as he had entered the house to find them still sitting close, heads together and talking softly. He wasn’t sure if he felt better or worse.
“Jare? What’s up?” Jensen walked close, leaning his chin against Jared’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around narrow hips.
Jared savored the freely given caress for a moment before the images in his head crowded out reason. “Nothing. Just putting away the shit. What are you doing in here with me? You guys need more beer or something?” Even to his own ears his voice sounded grating and brittle.
Jensen stepped back, hands falling to his sides as the tone and tension from Jared’s body let him know he wasn’t welcome in close. “Naw. We’re good. You wanna tell me what’s wrong with you?”
“I said nothing is wrong, Jensen.” Jared snapped as he turned to look at Jensen. “Just taking care of things, doin what I’m good for.”
Jensen’s forehead knitted in confusion. “I don’t even know what that means.”
“It means nothing. Go back in there.” Jared turned away from Jensen and finished putting everything away, not reacting when he heard Jensen leave the room quietly.
When Jensen came to bed, Jared had been laying watching the clock for hours. He peeked at it as Jensen climbed in carefully, 2:49 a.m., and the last time he actually heard music coming from the other room had been 1:18 a.m. It had been all he could do to force himself to remain in bed and not go to see what they were doing that didn’t include singing.
“J?” Jensen whispered quietly. Jared would almost swear he sighed with relief when no answer came and he settled to sleep on the other side of the bed. The bed had never seemed as big or as cold to Jared and his stomach hurt as he continued to fake sleep until it became reality.
Jared was out of bed and gone before Jensen woke up the next morning. He figured out enough things to keep himself out of the house most of Sunday. He ran with the dogs first thing in the morning and then took them to the park and played with them until all three of them were exhausted. When he got back to the house in the afternoon, Jensen was in the shower in their room and apparently Jason was in the other shower.
Jared went into the bathroom and stripped down. Jensen poked his head out. “J? Where have you been all day? We’re gonna go to dinner. I thought we would show Jason that awesome Thai place.”
Scowling somewhat, Jared shook his head as Jensen stepped out of the shower. “Did you not shower this morning? You guys work up a real sweat composing music?”
Jensen squinted, “Is that a joke?”
Jared pushed past Jensen and stepped into the still running shower. Jensen had left his water running, knowing Jared was going to want to get cleaned up after being out with the dogs all afternoon. “I’m good. You guys go and have dinner. Not really in the mood.”
“Seriously? You love that place.” Jensen looked confused. Jared sounded pissed about something, but he hadn’t seen him since the night before. “Are you angry about something, J? You haven’t spoken five words to me all weekend, let alone Jason.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Have I not been nice enough to Jason?” Jared sneered. “Pretty sure you are being nice enough for both of us.”
“What the fuck. Of course I’m being nice to Jason. He’s about the nicest guy ever, and he’s one of my best friends. What I don’t understand is why you can’t spend five minutes with him acting like anything but a dick.”
“Not a lot of room between the two of you.” Jared wet his hair and dismissed Jensen with, “Yeah, he’s a really great guy. No need for a dick like me hanging around when he’s here, right?”
Jensen threw the shower curtain closed and stepped away. “Definitely no need for you to come to dinner if you are that miserable. I don’t know what the fuck is your problem, but Jason is waiting and I don’t have time for this shit. If you want to talk about it you let me know, otherwise…whatever.”
Jared wasted enough time in the shower that Jensen and Jason had left when he came out. Fuck. He was sorry now. He wanted Jensen home now, wanted to hold him and know that everything was going to be alright. When had he become such a possessive jerk? Why did Jensen bring this out of him when no one else ever had?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jared climbed out of the car, calling a thank you to Clif as he did. His day had been longer than Jensen’s and he had been subjected to Jason’s smiling face the whole time Jensen had been on set as well. The episode they were filming didn’t include much Sam and Dean together time, so Jason had hung out with Jensen while Jared was in a different area much of the time. Jensen had finished filming a few hours earlier and headed out with Jason instead of waiting for Jared the way they normally did.
Jared watched from the arched doorway as Jensen watched Jason strum the guitar, the one his own lap momentarily forgotten. Jason was smiling slightly, face relaxed and open as he ran through the song, his talent obvious as it flowed easily.
The intimacy of the picture tugged at Jared’s heart and his gut like a knife slicing through him. This was something that Jensen loved, something that moved him and he was good at, and he shared it with Jason, couldn’t share it with Jared. He felt fear shoot through him when he realized that he could lose Jensen. It hurt just to imagine, but the possibility certainly felt real. Music was not something Jared had any talent or skill in and he worried that it was a divider that would become an obstacle. Jason was there, he and Jensen had been friends for years, were so comfortable together like this. They seemed to flow together. And the last few days had been miserable. Jared knew it was his fault. He had been angry and impossible to deal with. Hell he was practically pushing Jensen away and it would be his own fault if he pushed him so far away he ended up right in Jason’s lap.
Jared wanted to pull Jensen out of the room as the unreasonable fear flowed through him, drag him to the bedroom and tell Jason to get the fuck out of his house, out of Jensen’s sphere, but that would be ugly and he knew it. So he gritted his teeth and shoved off the door frame, leaving them to their practice and closeness. It hurt like a punch to the gut.
When he came into the kitchen a few hours later to find Jensen sitting alone at the table. “Where’s Jason? Thought you guys were attached at the hip.”
“What the fuck, Jare? You have been acting like a dick for days. What the hell is up with you?” Jensen glared at Jared over his coffee mug.
Jared looked at Jensen and felt a deep, sucking need to cross the kitchen and claim him, mark him, get all crazy caveman and throw him down on the table and fuck him so that when he walked out of this house there was no question who he belonged to and who owned him. He had never felt so possessive, so alpha male in his whole life. He was used to people wanting Jensen, looking at him and thinking about fucking him. What he wasn’t used to was Jensen looking back. Jensen was a loyal guy. He was a known entity for Jared and not one he questioned. He knew Jensen was his.
Until…well, the last week had been a trial the likes of which was tearing Jared up inside. Jason being in town had thrown him into a tailspin. He felt so out of control when they were together and it was making him act like a total douche, and he knew it, but was unable to help himself. Jensen was his. He had no intention of letting Jason or anyone else take Jensen or what they had together away from him. No matter what it took.
Jason came into the kitchen then, effectively ending the impending argument. “Hey Jared. How was filming? I feel like I haven’t seen you at all this visit. I miss hanging out with you. We should hit that bar before I leave.” Jason smiled and Jared felt like the douche he had been recently. Jason really was a great guy and Jared knew it. But the idea that Jensen could leave him for Jason, or even knowing that they might have had something before was like a lead weight in his stomach, seeping acid that poisoned everything.
“Yeah,” Jared agreed, his smile real enough to fool anyone but Jensen, “we really should. I’m sorry I haven’t been a better host. Just a lot goin on I guess.”
Jensen was watching Jared and stood. “J, can I see you for a minute? Need to ask you about something.” He attempted to sound normal, and Jason seemed unconcerned.
“Actually, can I borrow your car, Jen? I need to run to the store and pick up my dry cleaning.” Jason asked.
“Of course, man. Keys are next to the door.” Jensen told him, half paying attention, but eyes hardly flickering away from Jared.
When Jason was out the front door, Jensen turned to Jared, anger and something Jared couldn’t quite identify shining in his eyes. “Alright, J. I want to know what’s up with you. This week has shown me a Jared I don’t even recognize. No more bullshit. Straight up. What is wrong with you?”
“I…” Jared paused, not sure what to say, and surprising even himself when his next words filled the air between the two of them. “Do you have feelings for Jason?”
“What?!” Jensen felt as confused as he had for the past week. “Jared, I don’t even know what is going on. You are so out in left field.”
“That’s not an answer, Jen. You have so much in common with him. You guys share this deep bond, and you have music as well. You guys fuck?” He heard his own stupidity continue to fall out of his mouth.
“I’m not answering any of that. I thought I wanted answers, but fuck it. I’m not doing this with you.” Jensen started to push past Jared. But Jared was unwilling to let him pass without answers of his own, and grabbed his arm as he attempted to leave the room.
“I want to know, Jen. I deserve that much. You can at least say it to my face.”
“Fuck that. Fuck you, Jared. At this point you don’t deserve anything but a punch in the face.” Jensen hissed. “You have been such an ass the last few days, I don’t even know you. Now you think you can throw out accusations like that and then say you ‘deserve’ answers? Fuck that.” Jensen jerked his arm out of Jared’s grip and left the room, slamming the bedroom door when he reached a few steps ahead of Jared.
Jared threw open the door. “No.” The first word was a shout, and Jensen flinched. It was rare for Jared to raise his voice, let alone scream. Before Jensen could fully turn to face him, Jared was on him, throwing him down onto the bed and bearing down on top of him.
He leaned close to Jensen’s face, body covering the smaller one beneath him, breath hot against his ear. “You are mine, Jensen. You got that? This?” His hands were running over every part of Jensen’s body he could reach. “All fucking mine. You don’t give this to anyone else.”
“What?” Jensen tried to turn to look at Jared, confused and angry despite the fact that he had gone instantly hard at Jared’s tone and having his hard body pressing him into the bed. “Let me up, J.”
“No. Gonna show you who you belong to, Jensen. Remind you how it is…I don’t care who you used to fuck or who tempts you, you are mine. Every inch of you, and I’m not stepping aside for Jason or anyone else. Gonna mark you up, won’t be any question who you belong to when I’m finished.”
Jensen had no idea what was going on, how Jared had become so out of control or thinking such crazy things about Jason, but he was suddenly on board with this Jared. Liked him all growling and sexy and commanding. Gentle giant Jared had become the hulking alpha male his body always made him appear to be to anyone who didn’t know the soft soul inside or see the sweet dimples. Jensen wouldn’t trade his Jared for anything, but a few minutes of this wasn’t a bad thing as far as his own body and especially his cock were concerned.
Hands were reaching around, unbuttoning his jeans and then jerking his pants and boxer briefs down his legs before he could say another word, then returning to rip his shirt off, buttons landing all over the bed. He caught his breath and groaned deep and throaty as Jared growled in his ear, leaning close and sucking and biting the newly exposed skin of his back and shoulders, as one hand grabbed both wrists to pin them above his head and the other hand palmed and squeezed his ass roughly.
“Fuck, Jared.” Jensen was panting, barely able to catch his breath as he lay under the demanding caresses, beginning to writhe, hard cock pressing into the comforter.
“Gonna, Jen. Gonna dick you good. You need it, don’t you? Need to be shown whose you are?”
Jared reached beneath the pillow feeling frantically for the lube they kept there and grunted when he found it. He flicked it open with his teeth and squeezed a generous amount onto his fingers before tossing it aside. “Spread for me, Jensen. Spread your legs and show me how much you want this, need my cock filling you up.”
“Yes.” Jensen agreed as he obeyed the command, splaying his legs as far as he comfortably could, opening for Jared and jerking when slick, cool fingers immediately found his twitching hole, circling and pressing with just one before pushing in.
“Yes, who? Say my name, Jensen. Need to know you know it’s me. Just fucking me. Always me. Only me. Say my name.” Jared’s voice was deep and raw with his own sexual arousal and need and something else Jensen couldn’t exactly place.
“Jared. J. Fuck me J. Fill me up, just you.”
With just a few moments more of pressing a second finger into the heat and tightness of Jensen’s body, Jared prepped Jensen. He didn’t release Jensen’s wrists, though he didn’t feel any resistance. He pressed his front to Jensen’s back, lining their bodies up even as he pressed his cock forward to the inviting entrance he sought. He licked long stripes up Jensen’s back as he pushed steadily inside, then licked and bit at his neck as he bottomed out, pausing as Jensen’s body adjusted to the intrusion.
But Jensen wasn’t letting him stop, he canted his hips up as much as he was able given the weight on his back. “Come on, Jare. Thought you were gonna show me who I belong to? Fucking do it, fuck me hard, fill me up with your cock, your cum. Fuck.”
Jared lost control then, and drew out until just the tip of his cock rested at the entrance to Jensen’s body before slamming back inside. Four days without this and he was really out of control. They rarely went one day without fucking, and he hadn’t been inside Jensen in weeks. His body was jerking hard, thrusts erratic and frenzied as they moved together violently. He released Jensen’s arms finally, hands gripping the narrow hips under his own and digging in.
Jensen used his newfound freedom of movement to leverage himself up somewhat, shoving back toward Jared as the unconstrained thrusts battered him into the bed, beginning to hit his prostate on every deep stroke.
Jared threw his head back and keened out Jensen’s name and what sounded like ‘mine’ over and over as he came deep inside his lover. Jensen clenched hard as his own orgasm was triggered by the feel and sound of Jared losing all control.
When Jared pulled out, Jensen hissed at the slight discomfort and reality pushed its way forward again. He struggled up and started to get out of the bed, feeling as confused as ever and angry with Jared and himself for what had just happened.
“Don’t.” Jared said, his voice sounding wrecked. “Please, Jen. Don’t leave…don’t leave me.”
Turning to face Jared, Jensen was shocked at the anguish he found on that beloved face. “No, Jen. I…I’m sorry. Damn. I’ve been such a dick. I know it. I just…” He practically crumpled onto the bed and buried his face in his hands.
Jensen sat back down on the bed, half facing Jared, but not close enough to touch. “Why? What is going on, J? What happened?”
“I don’t know exactly, Jen. I just…ever since Jason has been here I feel like….I don’t know. Like I’m losing you? Like there is something there between you two that I can’t touch?” He glanced at Jensen, his eyes glistening. “I can’t lose you Jen. I fucking love you, you know? I need you.”
Jensen slid across the bed, hand coming up to brush back Jared’s hair. “The only way you are losing me, J, is if you push me away like you have been. Do you really think I have feelings for anyone but you? Could? With everything we have?”
“I don’t know. It occurred to me that you guys might have something we can never share. Your music is something so intimate and special to you.”
Jensen sighed, wrapping his arms around Jared. Somehow he had gone from commanding badass to sad little boy in a matter of minutes and he was reminded of how he loved all aspects of this man. “J, you and I share everything except that. And I’d love to share that with you too. I could teach you to play you know, if you want.”
“Yeah. That would be...Really? You would?” Jared looked up at Jensen and Jensen was put in mind of Sam’s puppy eyes of doom. He had less defenses against them than Dean, he was pretty certain.
“Of course. I would love to share it with you, Jare. We’ll get you a guitar and get started as soon as we do. Just as long as you promise not to sing.”
“Shut up, Jen.” Jared looked away. “Fuck, Jensen. I’m so sorry. I don’t even have an excuse for how I’ve acted this week.”
“Yeah. You have been an ass, but I’ll let you make it up to me.” He paused as he heard the front door open. “You do need to apologize to Jason. He has taken a lot of your shit this week, and he really didn’t deserve it. We haven’t been together in years, and we haven’t fucked since you and I got together.”
Jared tensed. He knew he had no right to complain or even mention anything that had happened before they had finally gotten together, but it still made his stomach drop. “Ok.” He knew he had to say something, had to suck it up and deal unless he wanted to lose Jensen.
“I’m just fucking with you, Jared. Jason and I have never been a thing. Seriously?” He smiled slightly as he shook his head. “Jason is straight.”
“So was I, or so I thought, Jen. I think pretty much anyone would change for you.” He couldn’t control the grin that spread across his face as he absorbed the words Jensen had gifted him with.
“Jared.” Jensen blushed a bit and Jared was surprised that he still could after all his years in Hollywood. “Whatever. You are biased.”
Jared squeezed Jensen hard enough to draw a grunt. “Naw, baby, it’s you. You are just that hot.”
Jason smiled as they came down the stairs a few minutes later, unsure what had happened, though he had a pretty good idea, and thought that these were not the same two people he had spent the past week with. They looked like they were going to melt into each other and their faces were relaxed and happy like they hadn’t been since his last trip to Vancouver.
“So, I will see you at the convention, but right now I have to head out asap. I have a gig that just got booked in LA. It’s really been a great trip, though. I appreciate you letting me hang here.” He watched them as they looked at each other, wondering briefly what the silent communication meant. “Thanks for letting me monopolize Jen’s time, Jared.”
Jared ducked his head momentarily and glanced back up, “No big deal, man. ”
Jensen snorted, pinching Jared on his thigh out of Jason’s view, causing Jared to jump slightly as he added. “I’m sorry I haven’t been a better host. I’ve been an asshole and I will make it up to you next visit. Jen’s gonna teach me to play, so maybe next time I can sit in some when you guys practice.”
Jared nuzzled into Jensen’s neck as Jason agreed with a grin. “Sounds like fun, man. I’ll be looking forward to it.”
Jensen grunted as he climbed into bed that night, his body protesting the two rounds of sex from earlier, particularly the rough session from that afternoon. He smiled contentedly as Jared drew his sore body close, wrapping him up with arms and legs and snuffling at his neck. “Sorry, Jen.” He whispered into the hollow there. “I really love you and I do trust you. I will try not to be so possessive and jealous ever again, k?”
Jensen drew Jared’s hand down to his groin, pressing forward into the warmth, “Love you, Jare. It’s ok, just so long as you never let it get so out of control again. You gotta talk to me, man. We are in this together. Plus, I sometimes get a little jealous myself…and, well….” He paused and Jared cupped him, nudging with his shoulder to get Jensen to continue. “I kinda liked that whole caveman thing you had goin on there. Jealous Jared is actually pretty hot. Kinda have a thing for the whole, 'you’re mine’ thing.”
Jared laughed, head thrown back in happiness and relief, and proceeded to remind Jensen again just who he belonged to.
Rating: NC-17
Author: deansgirl369
Pairings: J2 Jensen/Jared
Characters: Jensen, Jared, Jason Manns
Spoilers: none
Word Count: ~4600
Summary: Jared finds himself fighting a losing battle with his jealousy as Jensen seems to share a special bond with Jason when he comes to visit and work on some music in Vancouver. Will Jared’s possessive behavior push Jensen away for good?
Inspired by a tweet from Jason mentioning going to Vancouver to practice with Jensen, then a convo with my bff about whether Jared will get jealous.
Disclaimer: If I owned either or both of them (I sooooo wish!!) I would definitely have better shit to do than write fanfiction!
Jared nuzzled into the warm scented curve of Jensen’s neck as he slept. It was one of his favorite things. Jared invariably woke up before Jensen and would either watch him sleep, cataloguing the beauty of the face he loved, the thick lashes that lay on high cheekbones, the narrow nose sprinkled with freckles, or just bury his face in Jensen’s neck and breathe him in.
Jensen grumbled and rolled away from Jared’s snuggling.
“Jen?” Jared sounded unsure and Jensen grinned sleepily.
Reaching around, Jensen grabbed Jared’s arm and pulled it around his body. “Come here, you big baby. I’m just teasing you.”
Jared sighed and bit Jensen’s shoulder playfully. “You think you’re so cute, Jen.”
“I think I’m adorable.” Jensen quoted, burrowing back into Jared’s heat.
Jared felt himself hardening as Jensen’s ass rubbed against his cock. “It’s Saturday. Let’s stay in bed all day. Lots of things I want to do with you, to you.”
“Mmmm…” Jensen agreed as Jared’s hand slipped down, sliding along taut stomach muscles and finding his already hardening cock. “As good as that sounds, J, we only have an hour or so. Did you forget Jason is coming in today? I told him he could stay here. He can use my old room.”
Uninterested in talking, Jared grunted and shifted to pull Jensen’s pliant body on top of his. “Sure, whatever. Now…fuck me.”
“Love you, J. Gonna make you feel so good. Make up for the fact that we don’t have all day.” Jensen leaned down, kissing Jared deep and long, exploring the mouth he knew so well.
“Yes.” Jared moaned into Jensen’s mouth, and it was the last word spoken for a long time.
“So good to see you, man.” Jason hugged Jensen tight, smiling brightly. He glanced at Jared as they stepped apart, hand out. “Thanks for letting me stay, Jared. I really appreciate it. Makes it easier to get time with Jensen too. You guys are so busy all the time.”
As they headed to baggage pick up Jensen slapped him on the back. “Well we have all weekend. That’s a good start. I really missed playing music. Chris and Steve haven’t been in town in months, either.”
Jared felt a twinge of sadness, he hated that this was such a big part of Jensen’s life that he couldn’t share in. He was glad it brought Jensen such satisfaction, was a way he worked out some of his stress and the things he couldn’t let out otherwise. Jensen had trouble releasing his emotions sometimes, and Jared knew music was cathartic in a way little else was.
Realizing the other two men had gotten away from him as he was lost in his own thoughts, Jared hurried to catch up, listening to the soft laughter he loved.
Jared sat and listened, loving the sound of Jensen’s voice and the fact that he was relaxed and enjoying himself. He was happy that Jensen was happy.
But it started by the first night. He felt a sense of tension as he watched Jason and Jensen together. He started to wonder if anything had ever happened between the men before he knew Jensen. Their comfort level was rare in Jensen’s life. He could think of less than a handful of people Jensen was this easy with, himself being one of those few. Their laughter and closeness started to make Jared feel left out somehow and insecure. He didn’t like there being anything that he couldn’t give Jensen. He had maybe been lulled by the last six months, getting to be pretty much Jensen’s everything.
“Gonna make a grocery run. We are almost out of beer.” He shot up from the couch, startling the two other men, whose heads were close together as they worked on a piece of music. Jensen looked at him questioningly. Jensen knew him so well, could hear something off in his voice, but he didn’t look back, knew his face would just offer up more information.
Jensen didn’t press the issue, and Jared was a bit saddened by that. What the hell? Did he expect Jensen to follow him, beg him to say what was wrong? Kiss him and hold him? Fuck. He was out the door in less than two minutes, grabbing his keys and wallet and sliding into a pair of shoes in the entryway.
Leaving the house hadn’t helped. He found himself picturing the other men in the house together alone, and the images that flooded his mind then made him almost desperate to get back, make sure nothing was going to happen that could take Jensen from him.
The sound of cabinets slamming as Jared put groceries away brought Jensen into the kitchen. Jared had looked in on them as soon as he had entered the house to find them still sitting close, heads together and talking softly. He wasn’t sure if he felt better or worse.
“Jare? What’s up?” Jensen walked close, leaning his chin against Jared’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around narrow hips.
Jared savored the freely given caress for a moment before the images in his head crowded out reason. “Nothing. Just putting away the shit. What are you doing in here with me? You guys need more beer or something?” Even to his own ears his voice sounded grating and brittle.
Jensen stepped back, hands falling to his sides as the tone and tension from Jared’s body let him know he wasn’t welcome in close. “Naw. We’re good. You wanna tell me what’s wrong with you?”
“I said nothing is wrong, Jensen.” Jared snapped as he turned to look at Jensen. “Just taking care of things, doin what I’m good for.”
Jensen’s forehead knitted in confusion. “I don’t even know what that means.”
“It means nothing. Go back in there.” Jared turned away from Jensen and finished putting everything away, not reacting when he heard Jensen leave the room quietly.
When Jensen came to bed, Jared had been laying watching the clock for hours. He peeked at it as Jensen climbed in carefully, 2:49 a.m., and the last time he actually heard music coming from the other room had been 1:18 a.m. It had been all he could do to force himself to remain in bed and not go to see what they were doing that didn’t include singing.
“J?” Jensen whispered quietly. Jared would almost swear he sighed with relief when no answer came and he settled to sleep on the other side of the bed. The bed had never seemed as big or as cold to Jared and his stomach hurt as he continued to fake sleep until it became reality.
Jared was out of bed and gone before Jensen woke up the next morning. He figured out enough things to keep himself out of the house most of Sunday. He ran with the dogs first thing in the morning and then took them to the park and played with them until all three of them were exhausted. When he got back to the house in the afternoon, Jensen was in the shower in their room and apparently Jason was in the other shower.
Jared went into the bathroom and stripped down. Jensen poked his head out. “J? Where have you been all day? We’re gonna go to dinner. I thought we would show Jason that awesome Thai place.”
Scowling somewhat, Jared shook his head as Jensen stepped out of the shower. “Did you not shower this morning? You guys work up a real sweat composing music?”
Jensen squinted, “Is that a joke?”
Jared pushed past Jensen and stepped into the still running shower. Jensen had left his water running, knowing Jared was going to want to get cleaned up after being out with the dogs all afternoon. “I’m good. You guys go and have dinner. Not really in the mood.”
“Seriously? You love that place.” Jensen looked confused. Jared sounded pissed about something, but he hadn’t seen him since the night before. “Are you angry about something, J? You haven’t spoken five words to me all weekend, let alone Jason.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Have I not been nice enough to Jason?” Jared sneered. “Pretty sure you are being nice enough for both of us.”
“What the fuck. Of course I’m being nice to Jason. He’s about the nicest guy ever, and he’s one of my best friends. What I don’t understand is why you can’t spend five minutes with him acting like anything but a dick.”
“Not a lot of room between the two of you.” Jared wet his hair and dismissed Jensen with, “Yeah, he’s a really great guy. No need for a dick like me hanging around when he’s here, right?”
Jensen threw the shower curtain closed and stepped away. “Definitely no need for you to come to dinner if you are that miserable. I don’t know what the fuck is your problem, but Jason is waiting and I don’t have time for this shit. If you want to talk about it you let me know, otherwise…whatever.”
Jared wasted enough time in the shower that Jensen and Jason had left when he came out. Fuck. He was sorry now. He wanted Jensen home now, wanted to hold him and know that everything was going to be alright. When had he become such a possessive jerk? Why did Jensen bring this out of him when no one else ever had?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jared climbed out of the car, calling a thank you to Clif as he did. His day had been longer than Jensen’s and he had been subjected to Jason’s smiling face the whole time Jensen had been on set as well. The episode they were filming didn’t include much Sam and Dean together time, so Jason had hung out with Jensen while Jared was in a different area much of the time. Jensen had finished filming a few hours earlier and headed out with Jason instead of waiting for Jared the way they normally did.
Jared watched from the arched doorway as Jensen watched Jason strum the guitar, the one his own lap momentarily forgotten. Jason was smiling slightly, face relaxed and open as he ran through the song, his talent obvious as it flowed easily.
The intimacy of the picture tugged at Jared’s heart and his gut like a knife slicing through him. This was something that Jensen loved, something that moved him and he was good at, and he shared it with Jason, couldn’t share it with Jared. He felt fear shoot through him when he realized that he could lose Jensen. It hurt just to imagine, but the possibility certainly felt real. Music was not something Jared had any talent or skill in and he worried that it was a divider that would become an obstacle. Jason was there, he and Jensen had been friends for years, were so comfortable together like this. They seemed to flow together. And the last few days had been miserable. Jared knew it was his fault. He had been angry and impossible to deal with. Hell he was practically pushing Jensen away and it would be his own fault if he pushed him so far away he ended up right in Jason’s lap.
Jared wanted to pull Jensen out of the room as the unreasonable fear flowed through him, drag him to the bedroom and tell Jason to get the fuck out of his house, out of Jensen’s sphere, but that would be ugly and he knew it. So he gritted his teeth and shoved off the door frame, leaving them to their practice and closeness. It hurt like a punch to the gut.
When he came into the kitchen a few hours later to find Jensen sitting alone at the table. “Where’s Jason? Thought you guys were attached at the hip.”
“What the fuck, Jare? You have been acting like a dick for days. What the hell is up with you?” Jensen glared at Jared over his coffee mug.
Jared looked at Jensen and felt a deep, sucking need to cross the kitchen and claim him, mark him, get all crazy caveman and throw him down on the table and fuck him so that when he walked out of this house there was no question who he belonged to and who owned him. He had never felt so possessive, so alpha male in his whole life. He was used to people wanting Jensen, looking at him and thinking about fucking him. What he wasn’t used to was Jensen looking back. Jensen was a loyal guy. He was a known entity for Jared and not one he questioned. He knew Jensen was his.
Until…well, the last week had been a trial the likes of which was tearing Jared up inside. Jason being in town had thrown him into a tailspin. He felt so out of control when they were together and it was making him act like a total douche, and he knew it, but was unable to help himself. Jensen was his. He had no intention of letting Jason or anyone else take Jensen or what they had together away from him. No matter what it took.
Jason came into the kitchen then, effectively ending the impending argument. “Hey Jared. How was filming? I feel like I haven’t seen you at all this visit. I miss hanging out with you. We should hit that bar before I leave.” Jason smiled and Jared felt like the douche he had been recently. Jason really was a great guy and Jared knew it. But the idea that Jensen could leave him for Jason, or even knowing that they might have had something before was like a lead weight in his stomach, seeping acid that poisoned everything.
“Yeah,” Jared agreed, his smile real enough to fool anyone but Jensen, “we really should. I’m sorry I haven’t been a better host. Just a lot goin on I guess.”
Jensen was watching Jared and stood. “J, can I see you for a minute? Need to ask you about something.” He attempted to sound normal, and Jason seemed unconcerned.
“Actually, can I borrow your car, Jen? I need to run to the store and pick up my dry cleaning.” Jason asked.
“Of course, man. Keys are next to the door.” Jensen told him, half paying attention, but eyes hardly flickering away from Jared.
When Jason was out the front door, Jensen turned to Jared, anger and something Jared couldn’t quite identify shining in his eyes. “Alright, J. I want to know what’s up with you. This week has shown me a Jared I don’t even recognize. No more bullshit. Straight up. What is wrong with you?”
“I…” Jared paused, not sure what to say, and surprising even himself when his next words filled the air between the two of them. “Do you have feelings for Jason?”
“What?!” Jensen felt as confused as he had for the past week. “Jared, I don’t even know what is going on. You are so out in left field.”
“That’s not an answer, Jen. You have so much in common with him. You guys share this deep bond, and you have music as well. You guys fuck?” He heard his own stupidity continue to fall out of his mouth.
“I’m not answering any of that. I thought I wanted answers, but fuck it. I’m not doing this with you.” Jensen started to push past Jared. But Jared was unwilling to let him pass without answers of his own, and grabbed his arm as he attempted to leave the room.
“I want to know, Jen. I deserve that much. You can at least say it to my face.”
“Fuck that. Fuck you, Jared. At this point you don’t deserve anything but a punch in the face.” Jensen hissed. “You have been such an ass the last few days, I don’t even know you. Now you think you can throw out accusations like that and then say you ‘deserve’ answers? Fuck that.” Jensen jerked his arm out of Jared’s grip and left the room, slamming the bedroom door when he reached a few steps ahead of Jared.
Jared threw open the door. “No.” The first word was a shout, and Jensen flinched. It was rare for Jared to raise his voice, let alone scream. Before Jensen could fully turn to face him, Jared was on him, throwing him down onto the bed and bearing down on top of him.
He leaned close to Jensen’s face, body covering the smaller one beneath him, breath hot against his ear. “You are mine, Jensen. You got that? This?” His hands were running over every part of Jensen’s body he could reach. “All fucking mine. You don’t give this to anyone else.”
“What?” Jensen tried to turn to look at Jared, confused and angry despite the fact that he had gone instantly hard at Jared’s tone and having his hard body pressing him into the bed. “Let me up, J.”
“No. Gonna show you who you belong to, Jensen. Remind you how it is…I don’t care who you used to fuck or who tempts you, you are mine. Every inch of you, and I’m not stepping aside for Jason or anyone else. Gonna mark you up, won’t be any question who you belong to when I’m finished.”
Jensen had no idea what was going on, how Jared had become so out of control or thinking such crazy things about Jason, but he was suddenly on board with this Jared. Liked him all growling and sexy and commanding. Gentle giant Jared had become the hulking alpha male his body always made him appear to be to anyone who didn’t know the soft soul inside or see the sweet dimples. Jensen wouldn’t trade his Jared for anything, but a few minutes of this wasn’t a bad thing as far as his own body and especially his cock were concerned.
Hands were reaching around, unbuttoning his jeans and then jerking his pants and boxer briefs down his legs before he could say another word, then returning to rip his shirt off, buttons landing all over the bed. He caught his breath and groaned deep and throaty as Jared growled in his ear, leaning close and sucking and biting the newly exposed skin of his back and shoulders, as one hand grabbed both wrists to pin them above his head and the other hand palmed and squeezed his ass roughly.
“Fuck, Jared.” Jensen was panting, barely able to catch his breath as he lay under the demanding caresses, beginning to writhe, hard cock pressing into the comforter.
“Gonna, Jen. Gonna dick you good. You need it, don’t you? Need to be shown whose you are?”
Jared reached beneath the pillow feeling frantically for the lube they kept there and grunted when he found it. He flicked it open with his teeth and squeezed a generous amount onto his fingers before tossing it aside. “Spread for me, Jensen. Spread your legs and show me how much you want this, need my cock filling you up.”
“Yes.” Jensen agreed as he obeyed the command, splaying his legs as far as he comfortably could, opening for Jared and jerking when slick, cool fingers immediately found his twitching hole, circling and pressing with just one before pushing in.
“Yes, who? Say my name, Jensen. Need to know you know it’s me. Just fucking me. Always me. Only me. Say my name.” Jared’s voice was deep and raw with his own sexual arousal and need and something else Jensen couldn’t exactly place.
“Jared. J. Fuck me J. Fill me up, just you.”
With just a few moments more of pressing a second finger into the heat and tightness of Jensen’s body, Jared prepped Jensen. He didn’t release Jensen’s wrists, though he didn’t feel any resistance. He pressed his front to Jensen’s back, lining their bodies up even as he pressed his cock forward to the inviting entrance he sought. He licked long stripes up Jensen’s back as he pushed steadily inside, then licked and bit at his neck as he bottomed out, pausing as Jensen’s body adjusted to the intrusion.
But Jensen wasn’t letting him stop, he canted his hips up as much as he was able given the weight on his back. “Come on, Jare. Thought you were gonna show me who I belong to? Fucking do it, fuck me hard, fill me up with your cock, your cum. Fuck.”
Jared lost control then, and drew out until just the tip of his cock rested at the entrance to Jensen’s body before slamming back inside. Four days without this and he was really out of control. They rarely went one day without fucking, and he hadn’t been inside Jensen in weeks. His body was jerking hard, thrusts erratic and frenzied as they moved together violently. He released Jensen’s arms finally, hands gripping the narrow hips under his own and digging in.
Jensen used his newfound freedom of movement to leverage himself up somewhat, shoving back toward Jared as the unconstrained thrusts battered him into the bed, beginning to hit his prostate on every deep stroke.
Jared threw his head back and keened out Jensen’s name and what sounded like ‘mine’ over and over as he came deep inside his lover. Jensen clenched hard as his own orgasm was triggered by the feel and sound of Jared losing all control.
When Jared pulled out, Jensen hissed at the slight discomfort and reality pushed its way forward again. He struggled up and started to get out of the bed, feeling as confused as ever and angry with Jared and himself for what had just happened.
“Don’t.” Jared said, his voice sounding wrecked. “Please, Jen. Don’t leave…don’t leave me.”
Turning to face Jared, Jensen was shocked at the anguish he found on that beloved face. “No, Jen. I…I’m sorry. Damn. I’ve been such a dick. I know it. I just…” He practically crumpled onto the bed and buried his face in his hands.
Jensen sat back down on the bed, half facing Jared, but not close enough to touch. “Why? What is going on, J? What happened?”
“I don’t know exactly, Jen. I just…ever since Jason has been here I feel like….I don’t know. Like I’m losing you? Like there is something there between you two that I can’t touch?” He glanced at Jensen, his eyes glistening. “I can’t lose you Jen. I fucking love you, you know? I need you.”
Jensen slid across the bed, hand coming up to brush back Jared’s hair. “The only way you are losing me, J, is if you push me away like you have been. Do you really think I have feelings for anyone but you? Could? With everything we have?”
“I don’t know. It occurred to me that you guys might have something we can never share. Your music is something so intimate and special to you.”
Jensen sighed, wrapping his arms around Jared. Somehow he had gone from commanding badass to sad little boy in a matter of minutes and he was reminded of how he loved all aspects of this man. “J, you and I share everything except that. And I’d love to share that with you too. I could teach you to play you know, if you want.”
“Yeah. That would be...Really? You would?” Jared looked up at Jensen and Jensen was put in mind of Sam’s puppy eyes of doom. He had less defenses against them than Dean, he was pretty certain.
“Of course. I would love to share it with you, Jare. We’ll get you a guitar and get started as soon as we do. Just as long as you promise not to sing.”
“Shut up, Jen.” Jared looked away. “Fuck, Jensen. I’m so sorry. I don’t even have an excuse for how I’ve acted this week.”
“Yeah. You have been an ass, but I’ll let you make it up to me.” He paused as he heard the front door open. “You do need to apologize to Jason. He has taken a lot of your shit this week, and he really didn’t deserve it. We haven’t been together in years, and we haven’t fucked since you and I got together.”
Jared tensed. He knew he had no right to complain or even mention anything that had happened before they had finally gotten together, but it still made his stomach drop. “Ok.” He knew he had to say something, had to suck it up and deal unless he wanted to lose Jensen.
“I’m just fucking with you, Jared. Jason and I have never been a thing. Seriously?” He smiled slightly as he shook his head. “Jason is straight.”
“So was I, or so I thought, Jen. I think pretty much anyone would change for you.” He couldn’t control the grin that spread across his face as he absorbed the words Jensen had gifted him with.
“Jared.” Jensen blushed a bit and Jared was surprised that he still could after all his years in Hollywood. “Whatever. You are biased.”
Jared squeezed Jensen hard enough to draw a grunt. “Naw, baby, it’s you. You are just that hot.”
Jason smiled as they came down the stairs a few minutes later, unsure what had happened, though he had a pretty good idea, and thought that these were not the same two people he had spent the past week with. They looked like they were going to melt into each other and their faces were relaxed and happy like they hadn’t been since his last trip to Vancouver.
“So, I will see you at the convention, but right now I have to head out asap. I have a gig that just got booked in LA. It’s really been a great trip, though. I appreciate you letting me hang here.” He watched them as they looked at each other, wondering briefly what the silent communication meant. “Thanks for letting me monopolize Jen’s time, Jared.”
Jared ducked his head momentarily and glanced back up, “No big deal, man. ”
Jensen snorted, pinching Jared on his thigh out of Jason’s view, causing Jared to jump slightly as he added. “I’m sorry I haven’t been a better host. I’ve been an asshole and I will make it up to you next visit. Jen’s gonna teach me to play, so maybe next time I can sit in some when you guys practice.”
Jared nuzzled into Jensen’s neck as Jason agreed with a grin. “Sounds like fun, man. I’ll be looking forward to it.”
Jensen grunted as he climbed into bed that night, his body protesting the two rounds of sex from earlier, particularly the rough session from that afternoon. He smiled contentedly as Jared drew his sore body close, wrapping him up with arms and legs and snuffling at his neck. “Sorry, Jen.” He whispered into the hollow there. “I really love you and I do trust you. I will try not to be so possessive and jealous ever again, k?”
Jensen drew Jared’s hand down to his groin, pressing forward into the warmth, “Love you, Jare. It’s ok, just so long as you never let it get so out of control again. You gotta talk to me, man. We are in this together. Plus, I sometimes get a little jealous myself…and, well….” He paused and Jared cupped him, nudging with his shoulder to get Jensen to continue. “I kinda liked that whole caveman thing you had goin on there. Jealous Jared is actually pretty hot. Kinda have a thing for the whole, 'you’re mine’ thing.”
Jared laughed, head thrown back in happiness and relief, and proceeded to remind Jensen again just who he belonged to.
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