I'm Showing You How Epic We Would Be -- Chapter 4

[rain_n_snow]

Fic title: I’m Showing You How Epic We Would Be
Author name: deansgirl369
Artist name: Acuarella_117
Genre: rps
Pairing: j2
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 28,000+
Warnings: a little angst
Summary: Jensen and Jared are in love with each other, but neither has let the other in on the secret yet. Then Jensen finds a hidden list that might help him show Jared just how perfect they could be together.
Link to fic:
read here –deansgirl369

Link to art:
this way to beautiful art—acuarella_117




_____


how’s tx, dude?

Jensen touched his phone screen to answer when he saw the text arrive from Jared, trying to control his happiness at so simple a thing as a message. It was the first contact between them since parting for the long weekend.

It’s great. Missed everyone. How’s the douche? Jensen barely refrained from asking something about getting laid as he sent the reply.

The answer was quick in coming. ha. he’s chad. u know…crazy. has a new gf. barely legal. shit.

Before Jensen could respond. miss u, jen.

Jensen’s heart leapt at the innocent little words. If nothing else, he knew he held a part of Jared’s heart and that was a precious thing. Jared loved him. Maybe not the way he wanted, but being loved by Jared was something to be cherished no matter the circumstances. He felt a clench in his gut as he questioned whether the course he was on could ruin their friendship rather than bring him what he most wanted. It was a frightening prospect, and possibly one that could damage him beyond repair. If he lost not only the possibility of Jared loving him the way he yearned for as well as the best friendship he had ever known, he would never fully recover. The idea was terrifying. But he had committed to this and would see it to the end, he had tortured himself with the possibility for too long and could no longer refuse his own heart.

Me too, J. Looking forward to hanging out at M & T’s. You’re still goin yeah?

yep. c u sat night. ;)

Jensen grinned down at his phone. Jared was always using smiley faces. His text messages as friendly and welcoming as the man himself.

See you. Be careful, Jare.

Jared pocketed his phone and looked even more forward to seeing Jensen than he already had been. It had been good to see Chad, but somehow he missed Jensen more than it was worth being away even just for a few days. It still amazed him that seeing Jensen almost 24/7 never became too much. He never actually got sick of being with him, and being separated from him felt wrong and Jared felt twitchy in his own skin when it had been a couple of days with no real contact. He was crazy about Jensen, but it was more than that. He had missed Jensen’s presence even before he had known he was in love with him. Their relationship defied explanation, even to his own mind. He just knew it was, it worked, and it was them.



~~~

“Have you told him?” Mike asked Jensen when they were alone for a moment in the kitchen. It was a beautiful Vancouver day and it was Smallville and Supernatural stars hanging out, barbequing and drinking, enjoying a well-deserved break.

Jensen’s brow creased as he turned to look at Mike from over the fridge door where he was pulling out beers for everyone. “Told who what?”

Mike sighed. “Jensen…seriously? Even if you weren’t completely transparent, don’t you think I of all people know what I’m looking at?” Mike smiled at Jensen, a smile full of understanding and sympathy, but tinged with impatience.

Unsure what to say when faced with someone knowing his secret, Jensen stood silent, panic forming in his stomach.

“No matter what you know he loves you. It will work out, man. Just tell him. You will hate yourself if you let years of opportunity pass by…believe me.”

“I…I just…I’m trying, Mike. Maybe. Soon. I…fuck, I dunno.” Jensen felt like throwing up. It was hard enough when he was the only one who knew. Knowing Mike could see it made it infinitely more frightening.

Mike shrugged. “Don’t freak out. He doesn’t appear to know. Go out there and see your boy. Just think about it.”

Jensen sucked in a long breath. He passed Tom coming in as he went out, and passed him a beer with a half-smile.

Tom smiled back, white teeth gleaming. “Thanks Jensen. Jared’s watching the grill. You watch Jared, ok? I’d hate for the Sasquatch to injure himself, and you know how clumsy he can be.”

Jensen grunted and slid the door closed behind him.

Tom turned to Mike and their eyes met. “And?”

“He is so twisted up with it he doesn’t know what the fuck to do.” He turned back to the sink. “You say anything to Jared?”

“Naw. I started to, but I dunno, man.” He stepped up behind Mike and rested his chin on his shoulder. “Almost finished? Kinda missed you out there.”

Mike leaned his head onto Tom’s, “Yeah, just a minute. You can take out the potatoes. They are ready to go on.”

“K. Let’s give them a few minutes just in case Jensen finds his nuts and finally makes a move. What are we gonna do with them if they never get it?” Tom kissed Mike’s neck just under his ear and smiled when his lover shivered in his arms.

“Mmmm…” Mike closed his eyes and enjoyed the moment. “I don’t know, Tommy. I know it’s not our job to fix them, it’s just so hard to see people missing something so epic and knowing what they could have. I guess we will see.”

~~~~



Jensen handed Jared his beer and stood close enough to feel the warmth coming from Jared, looking at the grill without seeing. “You have a good time with Chad? Lots of sex and drugs?” He forced out a laugh.

Jared breathed in the scent of Jensen that he could just make out over the scent of the outdoors and the smell of the steaks on the grill. “Umm, yeah…no. I mean, it was fine, good to see Chad. It had been a long time. We had fun, yeah.”

Jensen watched Jared’s face as he spoke, frustrated that the answer was really no answer at all, and trying to glean some better knowledge.

“You have fun in Texas?” Jared asked.

“Sure.” Jensen offered quietly. “Good to see everyone.”

Jensen moved to a chair, taking a long draw on his beer. Jared went back to the grill, turning the steaks. Both were lost to their thoughts until Tom appeared with the baked potatoes a few minutes later.


~~~

It was late, dinner long gone and cleaned up and all four boys were sprawled in Tom’s family room on the floor, too much tequila and beer consumed for any of them to be feeling any real pain. Tomorrow would be soon enough for that.

Mike looked up at Tom from where his head was cradled in Tom’s lap. He winked before turning to look across the floor at Jensen and Jared, seated close but not touching. “Truth or Dare, Tommy?”

Tom smiled lazily down at Mike, “Seriously, Mikey?” He huffed as if annoyed but followed with, “Truth. I’m not going into a gas station again with no pants on to ask for Ding Dongs, Mike.”

Mike snickered like a child and then pondered for a moment, “Did you and Jensen ever hook up back in the Jason Teague Smallville days?”

Tom looked surprised for a minute, and glanced at Jensen. Jared felt something deep inside of him clench tight as he waited what felt like an hour for Tom to answer. Tom’s eyes slid away from Jensen’s and he smiled a secret smile that was too sober for how much he’d had to drink today. “No. Wait, by hook up you mean actually have sex?” He glanced once again to Jensen and back to Mike, eyes sliding by Jared without meeting them.

Mike squinted one eye as he gave the question serious consideration. “Yeah.”

“No. We never did.”

Jared felt like he had been holding his breath, and he looked over at Jensen who was looking…scared? Confused? Unsure? He wanted to know what that was all about. The whole thing. He wasn’t so drunk he didn’t know that something was fucking going on. The implication from Tom seemed to be that something happened, obviously, just not actual sex. He had no idea that Jensen and Tom had ever had anything between them other than friendship, and the idea was not sitting well on top of the beer and tequila swirling in his stomach.

While he looked from one man to the other, trying to ascertain exactly what was up, Tom took his turn.

“Jensen,” He began, “Truth or Dare.”

Jensen was mellow enough to play along. “Uhh…dare, I guess? As long as we can keep it in the yard at least. I don’t wanna be naked in public or arrested and on the news.”

Tom had missed his opportunity to talk to Jared earlier today, but he wasn’t going to miss another perfect chance to push his two friends in the direction they so obviously wanted to go but were somehow waiting for Armageddon or the Second Coming to get on with it. “I dare you to kiss Jared. Wait, make out with Jared. For five minutes.”

Jensen looked panicked for a moment, staring at Tom before flicking a glance at Jared, who looked like he wasn’t even listening. Or maybe just wasn’t interested enough to care about the dare that had been presented. Jensen scowled. This was big. If Jared wasn’t interested he would be crushed. But, he had promised himself as many things on ‘The List’ as he could accomplish and this was an opportunity that would not come along again so perfectly.

Standing and moving in front of Jared, Jensen saw his friend suddenly seem to come back to the situation at hand. “Whuh?” He mumbled as he looked up.

“Pay attention, Jared. Jensen has to make out with you for five minutes, man. Get with the program.” Mike called, his attention riveted to the scene playing out in front of him.

Jensen gathered his courage and knelt down over Jared outstretched legs, one knee on either side, before lowering himself directly onto Jared’s lap, leaving enough space that their groins weren’t touching. He smiled that lopsided smile, half drunk and half apologetic at Jared, who was staring with his mouth open.

Leaning in, Jensen placed one hand at the back of Jared’s neck, sliding up into the hair resting there. He murmured just loud enough for Jared to hear. “Just a game, J. Right? Like acting. Doesn’t have to mean anything.”

~~~~

When Jensen’s lips covered Jared’s, light and soft, Jared gasped in a breath and Jensen used the opening to slide his tongue just barely inside the waiting mouth. Jared felt his heart suddenly speed to a frightening pace as he tasted Jensen for the first time. Holy fuck. Jensen was kissing him. Jared might have been drunk, but he was no one’s fool and if this was his one chance to finally kiss Jensen, he wasn’t going to waste one second.

Wrapping his arms around Jensen’s back, he drew the other man in, sliding one hand up to cup the back of his head. He then leaned in again and placed his lips on Jensen’s soft tempting mouth and kissed him. Oh, god yes.

Jensen moaned softly and opened his mouth when Jared’s tongue prodded for entry. Their tongues tangled; delving in and tasting, reaching, exploring, and mapping out territory.

Jensen realized how he was starting to rotate his hips, to try and get friction against his aching cock, and stilled. Even drunk he wasn’t so stupid as to completely forget that this was happening because of a dare, and Jared might not mind or be offended now, but his thoughts on the subject might differ come the reality and harshness of morning light.

Jared felt Jensen start to pull away and growled low in his throat, feeling a bit panicked that Jensen was going to put a stop to this whole thing too soon. A deep possessive feeling filling him, Jared pulled Jensen tighter, fingers digging into his waist, and devoured his lips, using every trick he knew to make Jensen forget any inclination to pull away from this incredible experience. If he was willing to drag his mouth from Jensen’s for even a moment he was afraid he would beg for him not to stop. Best to just keep up the kissing then.

Jared was aching with just how hard he was and was pretty sure if Jensen leaned in just right he would feel it as well. He wanted to shove Jensen’s hips right into the cradle of his own, wanted to grind up into that pert ass he had lusted after for so long. He willed himself to keep his hands on Jensen’s waist and not let them wander down and cup those cheeks.

Instead he poured all his passion into the kiss he refused to break. He memorized the taste and texture of Jensen’s lush mouth. He held tight lest Jensen entertain any further notions of moving away or quitting this exquisite torture. Jared felt like he had wanted this his whole life and his stomach was full of butterflies at the feel of Jensen submitting to his kisses.

Jensen heard the growl Jared let out and felt the squeeze of fingertips at the top of his hips, heat zinging through his veins at the needy, controlling sound and action . He wanted to moan and cry out, keen at the deep twisting lust he was feeling, but kept himself as in check as possible. He drew Jared’s tongue into his mouth and sucked on it, sucked it like he wanted to suck Jared’s cock. He lavished tiny licks to the muscle after he released it, soothing where he had drawn on it a little too hard.

His fingers were still carding through soft silky hair and teasing the soft sensitive skin at the base of Jared’s skull, caressing. Jared moaned at the feel of Jensen’s fingers at his nape combined with the incredible flavor of Jensen on his tongue and the texture of his tongue tangling with Jared’s own. His heart felt as if it were going to pound right out of his chest. He trailed his fingers along the waistband of Jensen’s jeans, skimming soft skin as he wrapped his arms around Jensen, pulling their chests tight as he dragged his mouth along a slightly stubbled cheek and jaw to the soft skin below one ear. Placing hot wet, open mouthed kisses along Jensen’s neck and down to the juncture of throat and shoulder, Jared bit softly, drawing a gasp from Jensen. He released the skin from between his teeth only to draw it into his mouth and suck a quick bruise to the area. He felt like he wanted to devour Jensen, to consume him and was a little overwhelmed with the intensity of the moment.

“A-hem!” Tom cleared his throat, pulling everyone in the room back to reality with a crash. As much as he wanted to see his friends finally wise up and get together, he didn’t want them to end up fucking right here in his family room in front of himself and Mike while drunk and being sorry about it in the morning. That could lead to all kinds of not only uncomfortable issues, but might drive them farther apart.

“I think we should call it a night, don’t you guys? It’s been fun, but I’m exhausted.” Tom ran his fingers through Mike’s hair, then patted his shoulder in a gesture that told him to get up. “We will see you all at the network party tomorrow night, though, right?”

Silence descended on the room and Mike and Tom stood to gather empty bottles and straighten the mess from the day’s fun.

Jensen sucked in deep breaths and stilled as he watched Jared’s face. His mouth was wet and swollen, his cheeks flushed and heated. He looked thoroughly debauched, especially for someone who had only been kissing for the past few minutes. He also looked as beautiful as anything Jensen had ever seen. Jensen felt overwhelmed and frustrated and yet satisfied in a way he never expected to. He had kissed Jared, and Jared had definitely kissed him back. Jared had been totally into what was happening, a very enthusiastic participant in all that had just occurred. The only real question had been the reason why Jared had been so enthusiastic. Was it just the heat of the moment? Or the alcohol so readily imbibed tonight? Playing along with the game and having fun? Without talking about this in the cold light of day, there was no way to be sure.

Jared hadn’t stopped looking at Jensen for more than a few seconds at a time since the other man had climbed out of his lap and stood, eyes shifted away from his own. He glanced at Tom when he and Mike walked them to the door, feeling like growling at the older man. Despite the overwhelming things that had happened since, he hadn’t forgotten the looks Tom had given Jensen and the questionable answer about whether the two had ever hooked up. He wanted to know what all that was about and intended to have some answers soon, though he had no idea how he was going to get them.

But for now he thanked Mike and grunted at Tom as they headed out to the waiting cab.

~~~

Jensen leaned against the window of the taxi, letting the cold glass cool his heated cheeks. The excessive alcohol from the day and night were swirling in an already churning stomach. He was afraid things had gone too far tonight and was terrified to look directly at Jared, for fear that he would see regret or disappointment, even disgust shining out at him from those expressive hazel eyes he had grown to love so much. Knowing he intended to do something and dealing with the unavoidable fallout were two different things, he was quickly learning.

Jared felt unsure where to go from this point. Hoping beyond hope that Jensen wouldn’t wake in the morning making a joke or especially not regretting what had passed between them tonight. He sighed and turned to look out at the Vancouver night, anything to release some of the overpowering need to stare at Jensen as he slept against his own window.





9. Like to having someone sitting on my lap while making out, with their legs wrapped around me check
5. Having the back of my neck stroked, esp under my ear/hair played with check


chapter 5




_____