Just Don't Give Up on Me 3/?
Feb. 2nd, 2011 08:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rain_n_snowJared and Jensen have both fought their inner battles against what they want for so long. Maybe it's time for them to face it all. But can they weather the storm and make it work, or will reality and the past rear its ugly head and keep them apart?
Pairings: J2, mention of Jared/Genevieve & Jensen/Danneel
Characters: Jensen, Jared, Christian Kane, Tom Welling, Genevieve Cortese, Danneel Harris (mentioned)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: None really, a little angst, lots of boy smexing
Disclaimer: If I owned them, or either of them (I SOOO wish!!!), I would totally be doing better shit than writing fanfic
Chap 3
Jensen packed quickly, having moved up his ticket from its original date. He had planned to spend at least the first weekend in Vancouver. He and Jared generally did take a few days just to hang out and wind down before they went in different directions, if they went at all instead of just hanging out and recuperating together. But this time was different, things were way off kilter and they hadn’t dealt with any of the fallout of their encounter in the trailer.
He was feeling antsy, almost jittery inside. He had to get away, out of this house, away from Jared and Genevieve and his own feelings and fears. What had happened with Jared had been a huge mistake, a momentary lapse in judgment. Jensen knew that there was no future for this stupid thing, whatever it was or had been, and he wasn’t sure how they were going to deal with it and get past it, but he knew he wasn’t ready or willing to deal with it right now. So, he was getting out and hoping that maybe they wouldn’t, preferably ever.
He put his suitcase by the front door and realized he was trying to keep quiet, like he was going to try to sneak out of the house without seeing Jared. How lame had he become? Seriously? Was he afraid to talk to Jared? But Genevieve was still there, still in bed with Jared as far as he knew, and somehow he didn’t know how they were going to talk at all, let alone pretend normalcy while Jared’s girlfriend was standing between them.
Hearing the backdoor open and the commotion of the dogs and Jared coming through the house, stopping to grab a bottle of water from the fridge, Jensen realized he had missed Jared leaving for his morning run. Which meant no sneaking out for him. He wasn’t sure if he felt better or worse for it.
He turned to see Jared leaning against the door jamb, sweating and still breathing heavy from exertion, eyes flicking between Jensen and his luggage. “We need to talk about what happened, Jen. I wanna talk about what happened.”
Jensen swiped a hand over his eyes. “There’s nothing to talk about, Jared. It was a stupid moment. We got out of control. It’s over, and we won’t be stupid enough to let it happen again.” He refused to look Jared directly in the eye. “Now we’ve talked about it.”
Pushing off the doorjamb with a shoulder, Jared approached Jensen deliberately. “No, that isn’t talking about it. That’s you pretending it was nothing, pushing it away. Burying it, the Jensen Ackles’ way.”
“What else is there to say, Jared? Huh?” Jensen became slightly aggressive, leaning toward Jared slightly. “You tell Gen all about it? Tell her to hang out in the room for a while so we could discuss our big gay crisis? After you fucked her? Or before?”
Jensen looked surprised the words had come out of his mouth, and generally as if he wanted to push them back in, wave them away. He sounded jealous, and what the fuck was that about? It wasn’t like he didn’t have a girlfriend of his own to answer to. He didn’t care that Jared slept with Genevieve. Right? Why would he?
But Jared looked taken aback for a moment before anger crept into his own eyes. “What about you, Jensen? Who the fuck did you bring home and sleep with last night? Since when do you bring home random guys to fuck in my fucking house? Huh? You wanna get shitty and in my face? Let’s do it. I didn’t fuck Gen last night. How could you think that after what happened I would just do that? I guess maybe you think that cuz that’s how you play. You did it so you assume I would too. Guess I just have different standards than you do.”
“Oh, do you, Jare? Let’s see. You fucked around with me the other day knowing full well you have a girlfriend, a serious one, and so do I.” He poked Jared in the chest. “You are just so fucking perfect. Jared the saint, eternal good guy.”
Slapping Jensen’s hand away, Jared stepped in, crowding his friend, “Fuck you, Jensen, you are so fucking self- righteous. So, I wanna know. Who did you bring home last night? I didn’t know you fuck guys. Who was it?”
“I don’t owe you any explanations. And, I guess you shoulda known I fuck guys after last week, huh? You got a piece, so why would you assume you were the only one? Think you are special?”
Jared pushed Jensen against the front door, his face now contorted in anger, jealousy firing up once again in his belly. “Fine, you’re a fucking whore who gives it to everyone. I still wanna know who.you.fucked.last.night.in.my.house.”
“No one, you dick. I didn’t fuck anyone. I met a couple of people out last night, one of them was the lighting guy Spence. He and his wife had a fight and he was drinking too much, told him he could stay here. He’s straight, dude. Big drama. Pretty sure I didn’t fuck him, no matter how drunk I was. Think I would remember that."
Jensen pushed Jared out of his personal space, feeling like he wasn’t able to get a deep breath with his friend so close. But Jared stayed close. “Nuh uh. I heard you both come in. I heard you fucking giggling like a girl, heard you go into your room and heard him come out this morning and leave.”
“Whatever. I’m not going to stand here and argue with you about this. It’s not like it’s any of your business anyway. I don’t know why I felt like I needed to answer to you about it. Believe what you want, Jared. Obviously that’s what you are going to do anyway.” Jensen leaned to pick up his suitcase and carryon, trying to shoulder Jared out of his way. “I’m definitely not missing my plane for this shit. I’m out.”
When Jared refused to budge, Jensen sighed angrily. “He slept on the couch. He stuck his head in the door this morning to say thanks and that he called a cab. Now fucking back off, J. Now.”
Jared was tempted to refuse to move, refuse to let Jensen out of the house without some resolution, not sure he believed that answer, but he just sighed inwardly and stepped away, watching Jensen leave without a backward glance before turning toward the stairs. Steeling himself to deal with Genevieve once again. He needed some time, and she was not making things easier. She was the one wronged here, but Jared just didn’t have the patience or inclination to deal with it right now. He was ready for her to leave.
He took the steps two at a time, almost stumbling backward when he came face to face with a teary-eyed, stony-gazed Genevieve at the top, one hand holding the wall as if for support.
Mouth opening, Jared paused. He couldn’t exactly ask how much she heard, because, well….what answers did he have no matter what? Besides, the warring expressions of sadness and anger pretty much told him everything he needed to know about her state of mind. Now, the questions were, could he salvage their relationship, and more importantly, did he really want to? He was a faithful guy. Always had been. The rumors that he had cheated on Sandy had hurt because he would never.
But, if he were honest with himself, the thing with Jensen had been smoldering under the surface for years, Genevieve had never really been anything but a filler for times when Jensen was with Danneel, and Jared hated being alone…but she was just not what he really wanted. What he wanted, if he were being deeply, painfully honest, had just walked out the front door angry as hell and maybe never to return. Fuck, what a mess.
Genevieve watched the flicker of emotions that raced across Jared’s face with resignation. She knew it was over, could see his lack of real concern immediately. She felt like slapping him, hurting him so he could share some semblance of her pain, but realized it wasn’t worth it. It wouldn’t change anything anyway. She just felt tired. She had spent way too much of her time pretending in this relationship.
“I knew.” She paused when her breath caught slightly. “I always knew, I guess. The way you two look at each other, hell, who doesn’t know? Apparently you two, til yesterday. At least this explains why you haven’t been able to make love to me since I got here, huh?” She turned toward the bedroom, wanting to gather what she could and get out quickly.
“Genevieve, I am so sorry. I never meant to cheat, I swear. That’s not who I am. I never have you know…before, I mean.” Jared followed her, feeling like a world class asshole for this situation and the way she found out.
“Yeah,” she sighed, “I know. But this thing with Jensen. I always knew it was a big deal. Always wanted to pretend, or at least hope you never acted on it, or that you would both get over it with time. But that fear was always there. Because I knew that if either of you ever broke down and admitted this…whatever, was between you, then no one else would stand a chance. I knew that if it came down to it and you had to choose or got to choose, it would always be him.”
Jared sat down on the bed, hard. He felt blindsided. He had admitted to himself a long time ago that he wanted Jensen. It had been a long, difficult road to accepting and understanding that, because he had never really considered wanting another man. But Jensen wasn’t ‘another man’…he was just…Jensen. And trying to really explain that, even to himself was impossible. But, this was bigger than that and he hadn’t realized how much Jensen really meant. But apparently Genevieve had, and implied that it was obvious to others as well. His head was starting to hurt and he wanted to just lie down and not think for a while.
He wasn’t sure how long he had been sitting there, trying not to think and yet unable to do anything but, when Genevieve said quietly from the bedroom door. “Bye Jared.” And didn’t wait for an answer before rushing down the stairs and out the front door to her waiting cab.
Wow. He had gone from two people he cared for within arm’s reach to none in a remarkably short time. One apparently out of his life for good, and the other…well, he wasn’t ready to even think about the other being gone in any permanent way. He flopped back on the bed and closed his eyes, willing the headache and the painful thoughts away.
chap 4
Pairings: J2, mention of Jared/Genevieve & Jensen/Danneel
Characters: Jensen, Jared, Christian Kane, Tom Welling, Genevieve Cortese, Danneel Harris (mentioned)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: None really, a little angst, lots of boy smexing
Disclaimer: If I owned them, or either of them (I SOOO wish!!!), I would totally be doing better shit than writing fanfic
Chap 3
Jensen packed quickly, having moved up his ticket from its original date. He had planned to spend at least the first weekend in Vancouver. He and Jared generally did take a few days just to hang out and wind down before they went in different directions, if they went at all instead of just hanging out and recuperating together. But this time was different, things were way off kilter and they hadn’t dealt with any of the fallout of their encounter in the trailer.
He was feeling antsy, almost jittery inside. He had to get away, out of this house, away from Jared and Genevieve and his own feelings and fears. What had happened with Jared had been a huge mistake, a momentary lapse in judgment. Jensen knew that there was no future for this stupid thing, whatever it was or had been, and he wasn’t sure how they were going to deal with it and get past it, but he knew he wasn’t ready or willing to deal with it right now. So, he was getting out and hoping that maybe they wouldn’t, preferably ever.
He put his suitcase by the front door and realized he was trying to keep quiet, like he was going to try to sneak out of the house without seeing Jared. How lame had he become? Seriously? Was he afraid to talk to Jared? But Genevieve was still there, still in bed with Jared as far as he knew, and somehow he didn’t know how they were going to talk at all, let alone pretend normalcy while Jared’s girlfriend was standing between them.
Hearing the backdoor open and the commotion of the dogs and Jared coming through the house, stopping to grab a bottle of water from the fridge, Jensen realized he had missed Jared leaving for his morning run. Which meant no sneaking out for him. He wasn’t sure if he felt better or worse for it.
He turned to see Jared leaning against the door jamb, sweating and still breathing heavy from exertion, eyes flicking between Jensen and his luggage. “We need to talk about what happened, Jen. I wanna talk about what happened.”
Jensen swiped a hand over his eyes. “There’s nothing to talk about, Jared. It was a stupid moment. We got out of control. It’s over, and we won’t be stupid enough to let it happen again.” He refused to look Jared directly in the eye. “Now we’ve talked about it.”
Pushing off the doorjamb with a shoulder, Jared approached Jensen deliberately. “No, that isn’t talking about it. That’s you pretending it was nothing, pushing it away. Burying it, the Jensen Ackles’ way.”
“What else is there to say, Jared? Huh?” Jensen became slightly aggressive, leaning toward Jared slightly. “You tell Gen all about it? Tell her to hang out in the room for a while so we could discuss our big gay crisis? After you fucked her? Or before?”
Jensen looked surprised the words had come out of his mouth, and generally as if he wanted to push them back in, wave them away. He sounded jealous, and what the fuck was that about? It wasn’t like he didn’t have a girlfriend of his own to answer to. He didn’t care that Jared slept with Genevieve. Right? Why would he?
But Jared looked taken aback for a moment before anger crept into his own eyes. “What about you, Jensen? Who the fuck did you bring home and sleep with last night? Since when do you bring home random guys to fuck in my fucking house? Huh? You wanna get shitty and in my face? Let’s do it. I didn’t fuck Gen last night. How could you think that after what happened I would just do that? I guess maybe you think that cuz that’s how you play. You did it so you assume I would too. Guess I just have different standards than you do.”
“Oh, do you, Jare? Let’s see. You fucked around with me the other day knowing full well you have a girlfriend, a serious one, and so do I.” He poked Jared in the chest. “You are just so fucking perfect. Jared the saint, eternal good guy.”
Slapping Jensen’s hand away, Jared stepped in, crowding his friend, “Fuck you, Jensen, you are so fucking self- righteous. So, I wanna know. Who did you bring home last night? I didn’t know you fuck guys. Who was it?”
“I don’t owe you any explanations. And, I guess you shoulda known I fuck guys after last week, huh? You got a piece, so why would you assume you were the only one? Think you are special?”
Jared pushed Jensen against the front door, his face now contorted in anger, jealousy firing up once again in his belly. “Fine, you’re a fucking whore who gives it to everyone. I still wanna know who.you.fucked.last.night.in.my.house.”
“No one, you dick. I didn’t fuck anyone. I met a couple of people out last night, one of them was the lighting guy Spence. He and his wife had a fight and he was drinking too much, told him he could stay here. He’s straight, dude. Big drama. Pretty sure I didn’t fuck him, no matter how drunk I was. Think I would remember that."
Jensen pushed Jared out of his personal space, feeling like he wasn’t able to get a deep breath with his friend so close. But Jared stayed close. “Nuh uh. I heard you both come in. I heard you fucking giggling like a girl, heard you go into your room and heard him come out this morning and leave.”
“Whatever. I’m not going to stand here and argue with you about this. It’s not like it’s any of your business anyway. I don’t know why I felt like I needed to answer to you about it. Believe what you want, Jared. Obviously that’s what you are going to do anyway.” Jensen leaned to pick up his suitcase and carryon, trying to shoulder Jared out of his way. “I’m definitely not missing my plane for this shit. I’m out.”
When Jared refused to budge, Jensen sighed angrily. “He slept on the couch. He stuck his head in the door this morning to say thanks and that he called a cab. Now fucking back off, J. Now.”
Jared was tempted to refuse to move, refuse to let Jensen out of the house without some resolution, not sure he believed that answer, but he just sighed inwardly and stepped away, watching Jensen leave without a backward glance before turning toward the stairs. Steeling himself to deal with Genevieve once again. He needed some time, and she was not making things easier. She was the one wronged here, but Jared just didn’t have the patience or inclination to deal with it right now. He was ready for her to leave.
He took the steps two at a time, almost stumbling backward when he came face to face with a teary-eyed, stony-gazed Genevieve at the top, one hand holding the wall as if for support.
Mouth opening, Jared paused. He couldn’t exactly ask how much she heard, because, well….what answers did he have no matter what? Besides, the warring expressions of sadness and anger pretty much told him everything he needed to know about her state of mind. Now, the questions were, could he salvage their relationship, and more importantly, did he really want to? He was a faithful guy. Always had been. The rumors that he had cheated on Sandy had hurt because he would never.
But, if he were honest with himself, the thing with Jensen had been smoldering under the surface for years, Genevieve had never really been anything but a filler for times when Jensen was with Danneel, and Jared hated being alone…but she was just not what he really wanted. What he wanted, if he were being deeply, painfully honest, had just walked out the front door angry as hell and maybe never to return. Fuck, what a mess.
Genevieve watched the flicker of emotions that raced across Jared’s face with resignation. She knew it was over, could see his lack of real concern immediately. She felt like slapping him, hurting him so he could share some semblance of her pain, but realized it wasn’t worth it. It wouldn’t change anything anyway. She just felt tired. She had spent way too much of her time pretending in this relationship.
“I knew.” She paused when her breath caught slightly. “I always knew, I guess. The way you two look at each other, hell, who doesn’t know? Apparently you two, til yesterday. At least this explains why you haven’t been able to make love to me since I got here, huh?” She turned toward the bedroom, wanting to gather what she could and get out quickly.
“Genevieve, I am so sorry. I never meant to cheat, I swear. That’s not who I am. I never have you know…before, I mean.” Jared followed her, feeling like a world class asshole for this situation and the way she found out.
“Yeah,” she sighed, “I know. But this thing with Jensen. I always knew it was a big deal. Always wanted to pretend, or at least hope you never acted on it, or that you would both get over it with time. But that fear was always there. Because I knew that if either of you ever broke down and admitted this…whatever, was between you, then no one else would stand a chance. I knew that if it came down to it and you had to choose or got to choose, it would always be him.”
Jared sat down on the bed, hard. He felt blindsided. He had admitted to himself a long time ago that he wanted Jensen. It had been a long, difficult road to accepting and understanding that, because he had never really considered wanting another man. But Jensen wasn’t ‘another man’…he was just…Jensen. And trying to really explain that, even to himself was impossible. But, this was bigger than that and he hadn’t realized how much Jensen really meant. But apparently Genevieve had, and implied that it was obvious to others as well. His head was starting to hurt and he wanted to just lie down and not think for a while.
He wasn’t sure how long he had been sitting there, trying not to think and yet unable to do anything but, when Genevieve said quietly from the bedroom door. “Bye Jared.” And didn’t wait for an answer before rushing down the stairs and out the front door to her waiting cab.
Wow. He had gone from two people he cared for within arm’s reach to none in a remarkably short time. One apparently out of his life for good, and the other…well, he wasn’t ready to even think about the other being gone in any permanent way. He flopped back on the bed and closed his eyes, willing the headache and the painful thoughts away.
chap 4
